So, last night, there was something that I was going to put on my n00b space but in light of the bigger picture, I’ll say it here and then just keep going.
So, last night Pintrest sent me a “Hey, check these out!” message and it was just a large number of photographs of women in skirts, stockings, and heels. And… I had to ask
Am I this hard up or is this very basic look just THAT effective on me? VERY MUCH a “Wow. That’s.... wow… yes, this is very good. Thank you.”
And I was thinking about writing about it.
But this morning, after waking up and doing stuff....
I was watching Dragon Ball and tiny little girl Chi-Chi was asking tiny little boy Goku if he’d ever think about her after he left. And he said yes, then asked her the same question. And without even thinking about it, I said aloud “She’ll think about you every day for the rest of her life.” Because… they wind up getting married and having kids.
And just that sent me spiraling a little. I’d… I mean… wasn’t that the thing that poisoned the marriage? In part. “Do you ever think about me?” and the answer from the woman that actually married me was pretty much no, never. And… that’s… been my world, my experience. I… want a romantic and sexual partner who can and will say “Yes” when the question is “Are you ever going to think about me?”
But because I’m a fucking imbecile, I did what I often do when I’m feeling that way. I went and spent time on those accursed dating apps. Which always never helps my mood. It’s just scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe, scroll, swipe and never a conversation or a match. Not a single one. I’ve said yes to so many people (who subsequently said no to me) that the Dating Apps are now re-suggesting people after only 4 days. I’m getting “She said no want to try again” now every week. It’s fucking abysmal.
Then I reinforce my imbecilic behavior by fleeing the poison of Dating Apps to the poison of Social Media and TikTok.
And do you know what videos came up? I decided to actually take notes to share this spiral:
(1) Dating Advice: how to turn dating into a relationship.
RE: Lady! I’m not even getting the swipe, I can’t think about turning dates into a relationship when I can’t get the dates.
(2) A video of a conventionally attractive woman saying, “Guys may not realize this but… women do not want to date a MAGA. So if you’re struggling to find a woman to give you the time of day- it’s because you’re a trash person supporting a fascist.”
RE: Uhm… being liberal isn’t a secret passageway to getting women… I am living proof of this!
(3) Thirst trap specifically saying “Women in their twentys and thirtys are dating men in their 40s and 50s”.
RE: Yes, I am aware! I’m swiping yes to people in their 20s and 30s and 40s and it has no greater impact on shit.
(4) Another video specifically saying “Men, if you’re having trouble getting women to date you. Just stop being MAGA. Nobody wants to date someone who doesn’t respect women.”
RE: Uhm… being liberal isn’t a secret passageway to getting women… I am living proof of this and I’m particularly offended by the assumption that I’m MAGA because I’m having dating troubles.
(5) Dating Advice: All it said was, “If you’re unhappy with your strategy, just change the strategy. You don’t have to date any specific way.”
RE: K. But… I’m living my life. I’m doing my hobbies. I’m going to work. I’m using the apps. I’ve hired an actual Match Making Service. WHAT STRATEGY SHOULD I BE EMPLOYING INSTEAD?? Cuz… it would appear that “give up entirely” would be the next step if… trying in person, trying online, and trying through an actual paid service are all turning up goose eggs.
(6) YET ANOTHER video specifically saying “Men, if you’re having trouble getting women to date you. Just stop being MAGA. Nobody wants to date someone who doesn’t respect women. The loneliness epidemic you keep bitching about is because your behavior clearly shows women that you do not respect women.”
(7) Thirst trap with the text, “I’m 39. No kids. Love books and video games. But nobody will make me a wife.”
RE: I see lots of thirst traps and many that contain text that, otherwise, could even suggest “Hey, I can try to get with this person!” But I am neither so stupid, nor so desperate as to lie to myself and pretend a Thirst Trap video on TikTok could ever lead to an actual date, let alone a healthy IRL relationship.
(8) Thirst trap saying all of her friends who are in their 30s like she is are getting engaged or getting pregnant and all she wants is more people to go to the Emo Concerts and watch Lord of the Rings with.
(9) Beautiful Chinese girl wearing a traditional Chinese outfit. Caption says, “Do guys really like this look?” Then she speaks and says (summarized): Women don’t like fascists. If you’re lonely, start by changing that.
(10) Redhead between the age of 25 and 45. First words out of her mouth are “Men cannot handle being with a woman that is more successful than they are! And that’s why women don’t need men and men are bitching that they can’t find someone. Either learn to sack up and learn how handle successful women or embrace your life of lonely solo action forever!”
(11) Dating Advice: Here’s how to get over the person that you thought was THE ONE and turned out to not be. It took me seven months and it was constantly challenging my narrative. NOT blaming myself, NOT taking the responsibility for HIS actions, and showing some self-compassion!
(12) Thirst Trap: words “I love when girls tell me I’m pretty. Sure, they may be trying to have sex with me, too; but at least they can give me a specific compliment.”
(13) K-Pop Demon Hunters video
(14) Suicide Awareness Post
(15) Asian Sisters doing a thirst trap to K-Pop Demon Hunters song
(16) Cute Dog video
(17) Ripped dude by a swimming pool, then the camera cutting to a stunned looking attractive woman who says, “My standards are not too high!”
(18) Daily Show Clip
(19) X-Men Fan Created Video
(20) “PSA” from an attractive woman saying “Do not make friends with boy crazy girls, ladies! They will always strand you at the bar for any trashy low rent man that squelches into her view!”
(21) Thirst Trap advertising being on Live tonight
(22) One of my favorite political content creators
(23) Thirst Trap to Rammstein with the heading “You think you can’t enjoy the Super Bowl Half Time show because you don’t understand the lyrics?”
(24) Outfit of the Day- skinny white 28 year old wearing a black long sleeve shirt, brown wrap around skirt, and Doc Martens… feels very Updated Liv Tyler Empire Records
(25) Attractive white woman staring directly into the camera saying, “Hey, Baby. It’s all okay. Just breathe. I’m here. It’s all okay. You’re going to be fine. It’s okay to take this break with me before you go back to battle whatever it is your facing.”
(26) A girl that couldn’t be older than 19 discussing how she loves having a stable long term partner because there’s always someone she’s picking and she knows he’s always picking her.
(27) Attractive LATINX woman walking around New York with the words “Day off: should I get groceries, do laundry, try to make a friend, or walk around aimlessly letting my brain rot?”
(28) Various people showing their partners and what Disney Character they look most like
(29) Dancing With Ghosts lead singer walking around in a “sexy punk” outfit lip synching to the song she’s trying to promote
(30) Cute nerdy looking girl lip synching to Sabrina Carpenter, before “transforming” into conventionally attractive girl (lost the glasses, new make up design, red dress) then “transforming back (glasses, pajamas)
(31) Dating Advice: red flag terms “Not looking for commitment”, “You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met”, “I’ve been hurt a lot in the past.” Any of these three come up: RUN
(32) YET ANOTHER video specifically saying “Men, MAGA is for losers. Nobody wants to date someone who doesn’t respect women. You need to be out there FIXING THIS SHIT that you caused if you want women to ever consider giving you the time of day!”
(33) Woman looking mischievously at the camera then turning the camera to film a man searching every where in a room for something. Caption reads: When you’ve found the one, hide his keys so he can’t leave!
(34) Sexy looking redheaded woman saying “It wasn’t a phase” then dancing to Emo Music
(35) Woman speaking directly into the camera saying, “The happiest moment of my life was when I realized I was over my ex. The second happiest moment of my life was realizing I never want to have a boyfriend again.”
(36) Cute woman between the age of 20 and 40 with purple hair, an anime t-shirt, and anime music playing. Caption: Where are all the gentle guys that just want to hang out and watch anime?
(37) Dating Advice: Broken Rewards Loops… why you may be devastated when something ends before it even begins. If it was just one, two, or three dates but when it ended - you felt destroyed; it is because your brain was celebrating the dopamine you were getting. It may have been a small amount; but it is better than nothing. And people in this are often not getting much dopamine elsewhere. So… your brain fixates because THIS PERSON was your dopamine kick.
(38) Cute geeky girl saying, “I’ll never forget a single person I’ve loved. Even if they don’t love me back. They helped create the me that I am now. And I love her. So how can I hate anyone who was responsible for creating this version of me.”
(39) Cute 30 year old blond asking “Dating Hypothetical: What if you were with the perfect man; but he tells you he still plays video games. Like… as an adult.” as she sneers saying “video games”
(40) Dating Advice: If someone cares about you, they’re going to care about the impact their behavior had on you
(41) Incredibly sexy heavily tattooed girl wearing bikini shorts and a black tank top with Massive Attack playing in the background and the words: “Pain is a lesson to learn and let go”
(42) Cute Asian blond looking nerdy girl lip synching to Sabrina Carpenter, before “transforming” into conventionally attractive girl (lost the glasses, new make up design, thin white tank top) then “transforming back (glasses, pajamas)
(43) Dating Advice: girl flirting with guy, relationship deepening, girl pulls away, guy asks her to commit and she says no. Guess where he went wrong! This is what I see all the time. You need to state intentions clearly before the relationship starts to deepen.
(44) Dating Advice: Guys, if a girl comes back to you after months and says that she feels she can finally be with you… do not let her come back into your life. EVER.
And of course..... all of that didn’t actually make me feel any better.
Just… left me still feeling alone and a little depressed. And spent the rest of the day feeling fat and like I really don’t have a shot out there.
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