sept 21 in idea barrages

Why say “video commercial boards at convenience stores” when you can say “counter programming”?

In a slightly different universe where Screaming Trees were the biggest grunge band of all, “Nearly Lost You There” is now licensed for bladder control pill ads. Money consumes everything good.

When the tube of unbaked Crescent Rolls explodes on ya, that’s just premature rebisculation.

I love mispronouncing trebuchet as TREE BUCKET so much. “I don’t know if we need a catapult, per sae, but something in its family, a tree bucket, maybe.” So good.

A baby announcement is just two people telling you they were raw dogging it.

A lot of why I collect VHS is specifically because it isn’t and shouldn’t be worth that much monetarily. I’m preserving weird old ideas because it amuses me! If they start selling for a lot, I can’t get more! REJECT PROFIT, EMBRACE JOY.

I just want Bill Nighy to play Bill Nye the Science Guy, somehow.

I am glad that the Wu Tang Clan did not take the money from KFC to make up an imaginary member of the Wu named “Chizza” to promote their new pizza cheese abomination. Because you know that SOMEONE at KFC pitched that as an ad-thing.