My nervous system is thawing. I can feel what I am feeling.
Jimmy keeps crossing my mind. It is only natural. I worked up the nerve to scroll through my phone and look at pictures and recordings I had of him. I take pictures of our programs for our socials. I am going to make a yearbook for the kids as well. It’s all still so surreal.
I woke up today feeling flustered. I drafted up a letter that I want to send to all the board members and various funders, and I feel like I already sent it. I did not. I wasted no time yesterday and told the coordinators what I see is happening. That the executive directors’ next move is going to be taking away their relationships with their funders. Less than an hour later, they were informed that they would no longer be contacting their funders directly; all communication has to go through someone else. This violates their SPA contracts.
The coordinators are contractors with the government. Their job is to oversee the spending to ensure it is not being misused and is going toward their program mandates. Now they can’t see their funds, they can’t access their funds, and now they can’t report directly to their funders. They just lost all their autonomy. I don’t know if this fixation I have on this is just me coping with the loss of Jimmy or if it is valid.
I just want to numb out and play video games the whole day. Blah!
Here is the current draft I have. I have to collect documented evidence, specify incidents, etc. It’s a lot of AI mumbo jumbo, but I don’t want my voice recognized. The Executive Director is a government worker and is taking away the autonomy of indigenous programs.
To: Board of Directors
[Organization Name]
[Date]
Subject: Urgent — Breach of Contractor Autonomy, Financial Transparency, and Compliance
Dear Board Members,
I am writing in strict confidence to report serious governance and compliance concerns that directly affect our Service Purchase Agreements (SPAs) with the government and our ability to deliver for Indigenous communities.
Our coordinators, who operate as contractors under SPA agreements, have had their ability to oversee and manage their program funding fully compromised:
-
Financial Transparency Removed
Since April, contractors have had no access to their program cash flows, under the pretext of “restructuring.” There is no indication this access will be restored. Financial oversight now rests solely with the Executive Director and individuals brought in from her previous NPO. This eliminates contractors’ ability to verify whether funds are being used in compliance with SPA terms. -
Funder Relationships Seized
As of this week, contractors have been prohibited from contacting their funders directly. All communication is now funneled through the Executive Director’s network, removing the accountability link between funders and program leads. While contractors can technically communicate, their messages and concerns are subject to filtering and editing by this network, effectively controlling what information reaches funders and severely limiting the contractors’ ability to advocate for their programs or report misuse. -
Indigenous Autonomy and Mission Integrity at Risk
These changes strip Indigenous contractors of meaningful control over the programs they are contracted to lead. This undermines both our organizational mission and our obligations to the communities we serve.
3a. Salary Review Promises and Program Resource Misallocation
Despite assurances that addressing low salaries for contractors was a priority, there is no evidence of any meaningful review or action taken. Instead, leadership has focused on stripping contractors of autonomy and silencing their voices. Programs are being cannibalized—resources are taken from them without consultation or transparency—further weakening our ability to serve Indigenous communities effectively.
- Misaligned Funding Pressures and Mission Drift
The Executive Director’s network frames our programs as revenue streams rather than community service priorities. They pressure contractors to secure additional funding but focus on organizational needs—such as vehicles, infrastructure, and administrative salaries—instead of the programs and participants who are the intended beneficiaries. This represents a clear case of mission drift by appropriation.
Contractors, operating under strict SPA contracts, are being stripped of autonomy and oversight, exposing the organization to serious risks of misappropriation of funds and breaches of fiduciary duty. The Executive Director’s consolidation of spending authority and control over financial narratives enables unrelated expenses to be charged to program budgets without proper accountability.
- Call for Rigorous External Auditing and Oversight
This erosion of transparency and accountability creates a blind spot—not only between contractors and leadership but also between the Board and the Executive Director. With internal controls deeply compromised, the Board’s ability to exercise proper oversight is severely limited. I strongly urge the Board to mandate rigorous, ongoing independent financial audits and reviews as essential safeguards. Without these measures, the organization risks financial mismanagement, obstruction of oversight, and a loss of trust with funders and Indigenous communities.
Requested Board Actions
Order an immediate audit of all program finances from April to present.
Restore contractor access to cash flow records and direct funder communication.
Investigate potential breaches of contract.
Implement safeguards to prevent unilateral control over program resources.
Confidentiality Statement:
I am submitting this letter in confidence due to a climate of intimidation and retaliation under current leadership. This information is provided to protect our contractual obligations, our programs, and the communities we serve.
Current leadership has consolidated spending power, removed transparency, and seized control of communications with funders — leaving Indigenous contractors unable to fulfill their mandates. This is a governance and compliance failure that requires urgent Board intervention.
Respectfully,
[Name Withheld for Confidentiality]
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