I spoke to my boss about my idea and she listened and said she wanted to think it over. I told her of course, I wouldent expect anything else. And I saw she had emailed her mom who is our accountant for a spreadsheet of my job duties. I didnt ask for a raise with it but the only reason to ask the money person is for a raise. OR shes asking for a compilation of my duties and didnt want to ask me or my direct subordinate N. BUT she listened and said it makes sense. So I appreciated just the opportunity to be heard about it.
Interviews are something else. After our convo she let me take point on how we view our applicants. So we go over the intervew, rate everyone ect. She let me take point, didnt offer her opinions so fast and let me decide yea or nay. So i think shes listening/leaning into the idea.
I have a therapist interview and one receptionist tomorrow. I offered two more applicants interviews. Im reviewing references on a 80% match. But the first one was so so. She was in a different dept, didnt have a ton of overlap says she remembers the gall talking about being stressed and thought others were better in the dept. But she has good energy. But do i need another underachiever? idk... Im loosing my primary pusher...
The 6th house is ALMOST open. Next week is THE WEEK! YES. So cool. My kid is there helping finish stuff up and then our 7th is almost fully decorated but construction dudes need to go in and build a few walls. paint a few walls lmao. My kid demoed the kitchen today because our contractors are being too slow at 6. CEO and I are moving into 7 and we are READY lmao. Logically Its going to be 3 months. I have 3 months of wall to wall busy. THEN? it slows down lmao... or not. something always comes back around.
I remember when CEO was pushing me to give N some of my duties because I had too much and I kinda said.. What if I give her everything, I wont have anything left. I was really small about it. CD laughed and said there will ALWAYS be something else... And here I am sorting out duties because I NEED To pass it on and havent done THAT task in two years because, Who the hell has time for it?! Not me. N is now passing it on to someone else too lmao. Because we evolve. Im taking point, Im taking charge. I dont want to own my own but i love running one. I said that in true Leo fashion (Ceo and I are like a week apart in birthdays) I LOVE being in the middle, I love being in charge, i love being the person people go to. and frankly im GOOD at it! If I wasnt, it would be something else. And I even told R that when I asked about the title. I weighed am i inflating my self importance and seeing myself as bigger then I am, but I dont believe that is the case. I make choices that go above around below to support and over the top of everyone else there for the betterment. And we are GROWING. Sure I make mistakes. dosent everyone. And I own them. I say I messed up. and I FIX it, and I learn...
If only I was as good at that in my relationships? haha.
T and I are off and on rocky again. We struggle with communicating real feelings and not getting butthurt when the other feels. Its hard not to feel so defensive. We keep trying...
R suggested a gottman video. Most of our couples do gottman training for couples and she suggested a method that particular modality uses to fight. So worth a listen you know. We keep trying.
Im only energized now because I just spent an hour at the gym. T is taking Testosterone so he joined the gym the work off the excess. So Im going once or twice a week. Today I did arms. LOTS of arms, and some abs because fat belly. I can do about 90 lbs on most targeted muscles. I do 10-20 minutes on incline 10 speed 3 mph on the treadmill then do targeted muscles on the machines, last week I did legs, thighs ect, Today was upper body, arms, shoulders and a bit of abs. I wait between each rep of 10 and let little girl do the same exercise but with no extra weight lol. But it helps me feel a bit more energized. A BIT, At least for a while. But I cant be 100% dead before I go.
Oh I turned 42 yesterday. 4 interviews back to back, plus an hr meeting with CEO and we went to lunch together lmao. I was BUSY. Came home, Kids got me some plants and a cake and some balloons. :) Great birthday. I have a hair appt on sat to fix my hair, tone down the brass/bright and smudge it out.
I had a mammogram on sat lmao. Yay for adulting. I got the results 1 large asymmetrical lump and 3 smaller ones. They want to FU on. And I had to set a derm appointment because I have a mole that changed from flat to raised and my mom has a melanoma she just had removed from her face ( actually 6 spots) sooo im being fucking adulty and doing the shit I need to do.
But here is to another turn around the sun. Im focusing on liking myself more. Ive found so much of myself in the last few years and I like me a lot more. Ive found my confidence and voice. My strengths and my weaknesses, And im targeting them. Sure I want to be 30, skinny and pretty. But ill take what I get lol. 40 is cool too. And like my work twin says. We give ourselves a lot more grace to be who we want to be now. Less pressure.
Next up. Ch turns 16 in 3 days. EEEK.
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