What does it mean to be adult? Being an adult means doing things you don’t want to do.
Nobody is coming to do things for us. Nobody is coming to make us put our phones down and go for a walk. To make us eat a salad. To make our beds and clean our rooms. To make us quit drinking and start exercising. To update our resume, etc. We have to parent ourselves and stop waiting to feel like it.
If I were raising my inner child, would I let the kid eat the way I eat? Drink what I drink? Smoke what I smoke? Stay miserable and unhealthy? No, because I love him. He needs structure. Self-love is when you take care of yourself. It’s action, not feelings. Feelings are not cognitive tools. I repeat, feelings are not cognitive tools.
The majority of people who are failing at life and health are not victims. They have weak characters and make bad choices. They think they’re victims because of the consequences of their actions and inactions.
Maybe you should be depressed. Are you really that happy with the way things are? Do better. You wouldn’t let your kid suffer; get help.
Everyone is fine. That is the problem. It’s the word they use to hide behind when they don’t want to face themselves. I’m overweight, but I’m fine. My job is crushing my soul, but I’m fine. etc. We feel fine when we are drinking, getting high, having that affair, bingeing that show, making that purchase, eating that soul food. We’re not hurting when we hurt people. We don’t need help if we’re helping, etc.
I decided 9 years ago that I was not fine. My lungs were weak from smoking, but I was fine. I drank more wine a night than I should, but I was fine. I was eating like shit and feeling like shit after, but I was fine. Once my sister told me that she was expecting, I looked around at everyone else in our age group. They can’t run, they can’t shit, they can’t catch their breaths. They’re diagnosed with this, that, and the other thing. That is because of what they put in their past. I decided that if I wanted to have good health so I can enjoy quality time with my nieces and nephews as they get older, then I would have to put that in my present. I don’t want those kids to see every adult in their life fat, and… fine.
Now I work with at-risk youth, ages 8-12. It’s easier to do open-mind surgery on older folk. But when they lack self-awareness, it is very challenging. It is narcissism. They don’t want to be aware of how their behaviour affects others. The worst of the worst don’t want to be aware of how their actions affect themselves. These are kids by default. Their brains are still developing. I’ll find a way to get through to them. We have knowledge keepers and elders here. The kids take their lessons seriously, so there is opportunity there.
My own journey is, of course, still a work in progress. I feel like I am at the homestretch. Fix gut lining and do somatic work. The pain is where the healing is. I’ll have to remind myself. Then what? Healing is supposed to be the new salvation. We ain’t here to chase to health for the rest of our lives. We are supposed to just be healthy.
I have to get back to work now.
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