I’ve said it before. I’ve said it recently. I acknowledge that OTHER people’s lives don’t necessarily editorialize mine. I also understand that OTHER people’s decisions may not be the best. May not work out. May be made out of desperation, pain, panic… may be self-destructive. I understand that. But some things are still worth commenting on. Some things still make me think: “Woah. Okay.”
Over the weekend Hinge Date and I tried to figure out where and when. On Saturday, I suggested a place and a time. Now, 48 hours later, I am still waiting for confirmation. It’s like “having a date” and “being stood up” all at the same time.
Meanwhile, I got two separate notifications.
Do you remember Arisu? The woman that I was somewhat casually befriending a year or two ago? The one who would frequent the Dog Park despite not owning a dog? She got married this weekend. The pictures.... say a lot. This is one of those “I’m not opining the situation, just understanding.” She married an older man and the whole thing seems very “Two people who wanted to check Get Married off of their To Do List”. I wish her joy, honestly. I’m not trying to be a dick. But even the wedding photos look more “At least it finally happened” than “Joyous Celebration.” And this is important to recognize and understand. Not everybody who is dating in their mid-life is looking for “The partner that resonates”.... as some people are sincerely desperately looking for “the partner that says yes.”
And then there’s the other one. Do you remember my friend at the office whose life imploded? He had the office across the hall from me, was young but squat, liked Anime as much as I did? His wife turned psycho, destroyed her life and his with it, so he had to leave the area? This all happened SINCE I came to this town. So… 2022, I come to this town and make this acquaintance. 2023 his wife has an epic BPD meltdown and destroys everything around her. So that 2024, he has to leave the area entirely. He actually goes to the county I wanted to be in a few years ago; fucked up so totally that they fired him, and then wound up at the county I just left! Yup! That’s my life (and his). You can have your life entirely destroyed, and then fuck up so badly that you’re fired.... and still just.... walk into my old life with no problems. ANYWAY.... apparently, it worked out better for him than it ever did for me. Because he got engaged this weekend. YUP. In the time since I moved to this town… this dude got Separated, Divorced, Transferred, Fired, and engaged.
I can’t find someone who will let me buy them dinner three times in a row and yet… this guy finds a 2nd Wife in less time than it took me to unpack my fucking house!
SERIOUSLY… this guy is.... the wrestler version of me with less ethics or talent. He is shorter, wider, and legitimately has fucked up so bad in Court that it become a State Wide Story. He used to sleep in his office when his marriage was imploding. He and I used to discuss which Anime Abridged Series was better. All of this may sound like I’m being a dick, and I might be, but I’m not saying this because I’m upset at his fortune. Godspeed, buddy, I honestly hope this one works out for you!! I’m just… sitting here.... wondering what the fuck?! I was married longer. I fought harder to save my marriage. I moved heaven and earth to protect my relationship. Is that what I’m being punished for? If I’d just given up in 2014, would everything have been better? Am I honestly being made to “answer” for doing absolutely everything I could to save my marriage?? Arisu getting married? That.... makes a certain sad kind of sense. She genuinely made me think “WHO” didn’t matter to her as much. Unfortunate. But my attorney friend? He literally moved into my old life.... is literally sitting in the office I used to, trying the cases I used to, working for the boss that I used to.... and he’s engaged. It’s just.... what more or what else do I have to do to be “worthy” of this life? Whose celestial ass do I have to kiss to be told “Rest Easy In My Embrace”?!
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