Things happen in threes I kept telling myself on Monday.
A participant in a youth program at my office died by suicide over the weekend. A participant in my own program was hospitalized because of an attempted suicide. Last night, another participant attempted suicide. She was in that other program and was dating the young man. The coordinator of that program got a call at midnight and rushed to the bridge where the young girl was having a standoff with the police. These are all children.
It’s starting to sink in.
I talked to my coordinator yesterday. I told him about what was actually bothering me the other week that he was picking up on. Today, I had him so self-aware of his avoidance behaviour that it triggered an anxiety attack. He was faced to face… whatever he was avoiding. He pulled it together, and we took our kids go-karting. It was a decent day. Our kid on the spectrum had an episode, and instead of running off, he refused to leave. I guess that is what I get for having the Wendigo song stuck in my head.
I am still recovering from one god damn sandwich. I had a cheat meal on the weekend. I forgot about it affecting me for a week, and not just for one bad night. I’m also back to contemplating eating bison. 9 years vegan, I can’t say I’m going strong. I am going camping in a few weeks. I will get my bestie to bring something with bison, and I will sneak a bite. It’s all psychological at this point.
I have no energy. Just figured I would bang out an entry for no reason. Things still feel heavy.
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