I love to Write in Meditations

Under the Blessed Pine. I feel more grounded and connected to myself.

Yesterday, I had an experience that required some deep integration. And, after this experience, maybe a handful of hours later, I encountered a Being who was totally new to me. This Being I will call Motherkind. Perhaps after I rely the encounter, you will understand why.

I tried to get in touch with my feeling body. What I saw and felt was something like a void- and I circled it on the very brink, unwilling to go in.
I felt immense sadness, grief, desperation, and pain.
What is in the void?
This question grew in me despite the feelings of pain, sadness, etc. It grew until, it began to take more of my awareness than the feelings. And, quite abruptly, those feelings were gone and, something else was there.

This being came into my consciousness and acted through me. This is the only way I have encountered this being. This being came to me in daytime, while I was fully conscious, in a light meditative state.

Through this being’s consciousness, I saw many light orbs. I smiled radiantly at them, and said, in a deeply loving intonation; “Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!”
I am aware that this is not me, but I feel no alarm, no angst at the thought or experience of being a host for something else, only curiosity about this being.
The orbs, upon hearing the welcome, came to me. I realized that they were coming out from the void. As I focused upon each of them, I recognized someone that I knew. Mostly ancestors and blood relatives and family. My voice resounded in such loving intent that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. These were my children. Being called back from the void- and they heard me! They remembered me! Such joy, reverence, and gratitude welled within me that it was almost unbearable.
“Welcome!” came that enthusiastic, deeply loving voice to each one as he or she came out of the void to be with the Motherkind. She embraced them all. “I love you, I love you, I love you” that voice seemed to breathe these words into every one who came. I notice that as they stream towards me, they glow more brightly and become themselves as joyous and loving as the Motherkind.
As most came, there are a few who hesitate, and Motherkind again calls to them “Come, come, come! I love you, I love you, I love you” this mantra echoes and echoes seemingly forever. But, the reluctant ones need to shed something. They have regrets, worry, fear and shame. One comes and, I recognize her as the personality of my mom. She reveals her burden that needs to be shed. My heart swells in endless compassion, and Motherkind hesitates not at all- “Don’t worry! Have no fear! You are so beautiful! I love you. You’re growing up so fast! There is nothing to fear, no worries! I love you. These are just little messes- and you will learn to clean it up later. Now, come! Come to me my love!” this message came through in such genuine feeling of love that it was virtually irresistible. And each one came and was shed of his or her burden in order to fully and completely receive Motherkind’s incredible love and be totally immersed in her.

Motherkind left me as abruptly as she had arrived. I felt that I was just I, experiencing only the contents of my own immediate environment once again.

Another novel being came to me another handful of hours later. This was at night, and I was in sleep consciousness.

Sleeping in my bed, in my dream, I become aware of something- a presence.

I feel the weight of a body just next to me, on the bed. It’s weight is warm and heavy against my right side. I open my eyes to look- and I see over the immediate lump of blankets, fur, and ears. The fur is coarse and long and thick, and the ears those of a wolf.

I raise my head just slightly and I see the face of the wolf- staring at me with that ineffable expression of the intelligent cunning predator. I felt an urge to push it away- and a force came from within me to push this creature far from me.

I realize, now, that these two entities are 2 sides of the same coin.
Opposite the Motherkind is the Wolfe.
They are both part of me.
My Wolfe is much more bound up in my identity; she could not be revealed in my waking life or my consciousness would have no way to separate out the thoughts, feelings, or character of this being. So enmeshed it is in my life experience heretofore. The Wolfe is a being of deep awareness of the need for survival, of it’s own hunger for nourishment. It is cunning and intelligent, and ready to fight.
The Motherkind is opposite to Wolfe in almost every respect. She is the radiance that looks outward and is aware of her children. She is an effortless embodiment and knowledge of who and what she is- only desiring to embrace her children in remembrance that allows them to experience this effortless knowing.

The Wolfe came to me as an externalized apparition. At night. During dream consciousness.
The Motherkind came to me as an internal experiential consciousness. During the day. Through waking consciousness.

They are such perfectly complimentary beings- I feel a sense of awe and wonderment.