Peace in Journal

Harmony
Non-Comativeness
Equity
Natural Law
Equanimity
Humility
Wholeness
Loving kindness

Do they mean something different?

I don’t know. They all contain some facet of the feeling of character that has been with me.

She is soft, so soft. Receptive. Embodied. She lives in a divine sense of self worth. And there is nothing argumentative about her. She flows like water and soft silk. She notices the wanting, grasping clawing needs of others. It is not unknown to her. Yet there is no pull. No guilt, nor shame… Just a quiet noticing of what is.

“I feel your pull”, she seems to whisper in serene unassuming calm. “I see you.”
There is nothing more. And nothing less. Simply a witnessing. In divine depth and enchanting graciousness she simply witnesses the suffering clawing pain around her.
And she is still whole. Still serene. She is still.

I recall a time in my thinking not even too far gone, now, that I would have regarded her as a cold unfeeling aloof and dispassionate bitch. She’s too good for me. She’s too high up on her pedestal to deign a helping hand. To lend a moment. Anything! She doesn’t give a fuck.
But I see that truly for what it is; an attack. Aggression. A threat. The threat of; if you don’t do something about my pain and hurt and overstretched overstressed suffering and torment then you’re a cold bitch and you don’t care about me! Of course this is the combative victim; the angry hurt that blames the world for its lack of compassion. This is the anger and fear that once given a moment, once given even a morsel, clamps down on that offering hand and devours it until nothing is left.

But, this is not what she fears. In fact, I’m not sure that she fears anything. She is wholly in trust and serene self worth. Her concern is her own Honor in herself. She observes the question being posed or the provision requested. Is she honored in the request? Does it honor her to entertain it, let alone fulfill it?

The wholeness is embodied in her, and therefore witnessed in the other. That the other chooses to show and feel only the victim consciousness in no way dissuades her from her embodiment of the whole, or the witnessing of the whole in him. She simply is, as one, victim, perpetrator, and savior. They are all accepted within her and she expresses them in divine union. She perceives within the victim consciousness the wholeness of it; bringing to the light of consciousness the perpetrator and the savior. The insistence of him who would assert his true victim status and demand comfort and succor is perceived by her to be only a facet of the whole.

Not to say that she is perfect, or perfection. She still has her desires that may be in contradiction to another’s free will. And this is her concern; the embodying of Honor for herself, and for the Other, as each is a facet of the whole.

How pleasant upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who proclaims peace, who brings good news, who proclaims deliverance, who says to Tsiyon, “Your Elohim reigns!” The Scriptures, Yeshayahu 52:7