Wow! I woke up and I was deeply sore all over my body. Like… I haven’t been this sore since Tech Week for Murder at the Howard Johnson’s and in that play, I was required to do some very physical work! Like… be tied up, dragged to a bathroom, and free myself (Scene 1); run from one side of the stage to the other before walking a narrow elevated board at pace (Scene 2); and run around the stage, speedily climb under a bed, jump over the bed, then stage a heart attack (Scene 3). Feeling exceptionally physically sore after that show made sense! Feeling so incredibly sore after a Tech Week rehearsal of bloody Much Ado About Nothing sounds… ridiculous! Granted, the Eavesdropping Scene can be pretty physical… and almost all of my entrances are from behind the audience, so there is a lot of running from the back stage area to the proper entrance of the theater space, and we’ve now inserted a slight costume change before the last scene where I was already sprinting to go from Exit to Entrance (the scene before is my scene so I exit Upstage Right then have to sprint to Side Entrance to immediately return; we’ve now inserted a quick “And put this suitcoat on” during the sprint)… and I suppose there is something to be said about the performance being outside that may increase the wear and tear on my body but… I’m extremely surprised how truly physically beat up I felt this morning!!
I got to work a little early but not early enough for an actual damned parking space. But early enough that an old man annoyed to have to be at the Court House in the morning almost ran me down! Seriously. I have the WALK sign as I am crossing the street (since I had to park so far away). This giant blue pickup truck decides to turn on top of me despite me having the WALK sign. Being so damned sore, I didn’t suddenly sprint or suddenly stop. I have right of way, I was in the intersection prior to this man’s turn. So he stops with his pickup’s grill at my elbow. Great start to the day (sarcasm). I have oodles of e-mails to return as I was working with the intern until close and hadn’t the opportunity to return E-Mails. I also have some rather annoying voice mails to return as well. But in both categories… exhausting ass repeat thorns in my side. E-Mail SOVCIT with another massive e-mail demanding I do as he says because I am violating his Constitutional Rights as a Blessed Child of the Republic of the States and I am joining in an illegal, harmful, damaging conspiracy against him in an effort to establish a fascist state against God Fearing and God Loving individuals. Voice Mail isn’t much better. Remember the lady who, after I sent her VIDEO FOOTAGE of her breaking the law, started ranting that I had personally altered the footage because she didn’t break the law so I need to give her the footage as it existed before I tampered with it? Because.. I have such abundant free time and access to Top Quality Video Editing software? Lady… I use VLC Media Player… I can barely get that thing to edit for time let alone content! But… multiple voice mails from her. SOoOoOoOo yeah. Just… all manner of bullshittery and tomfuckery this morning. As morally bankrupt as I should feel about this? I can definitely see.... if I don’t have a show to work on and I don’t have a relationship to work on.... surviving 2025’s rising madness and the insane fucking people that I have to deal with… I will not stay sober much past this current show!
That said, in all fairness, I am beginning to struggle with patience from a general perspective. I appreciate that the intern hasn’t nearly the experience I do. That is unquestionable. And frankly, had I my own calendar to teach, I would not be relying on him as much as I must. I would be doing almost all of my work this week and encouraging him to learn by observing and doing trials. But as the office’s strategy is to have him carry my docket when I am gone next week… I must have him do everything this week under my supervision so that I can have even the merest faith that he can survive next week! That said, however, because of the lack of experience- things take interminably long. There was a full two hours passed before we were caught up enough to even discuss today’s agenda. WHICH, again, is not the boy’s fault. He’s being thrown into a position that demands too much of him this early. But honestly, I would be harming him more were I to do the work instead as he would have no position from which to understand what he needed to do when the office threw him in next week. So… I sit. I do the work ahead of him but don’t write it down; I am available for questions as I sit and watch him try to figure things out. What strikes me, truly, as most surprising? I’ve encouraged him that he can use what came before instead of re-inventing the wheel. If this is a hearing that has happened twenty two times before? He can look at the notes from the last hearing; copy and paste them to the notes for the upcoming hearing; and whammo, he has everything he needs to know for the new hearing. But he’s learning and curious, so he wants to look into the case, determine what the issues are… really understand what’s going on. Which… good for him, honestly. He’s here to learn and figuring out how things work in the real world is the very reason he’s here! But it ultimately is the difference between finishing a task in 5 minutes versus finishing a task in 2 hours. And considering our volume, that makes a significant difference. It is the very reason why (as I write this) it is 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday and we are only just coming to the end of the work to be done by end of Monday. It creates concern in me.
A bit of fluff while I wait:
For the life of me I do not remember my dreams exactly. Not lately. Not that I’ve been actively dreaming as much but so much the better? When drinking, I didn’t have dreams because the mind was addled. I am hoping I am not dreaming as much now because my body is just shut down but I suppose there is an equally likely chance that I am not dreaming because my body is not sinking to the appropriate level of sleep.... which would connect with my body pain as a previous theory on Fibromyalgia was that our bodies did not reach proper REM sleep. Who knows?! What I do know is that I have a distinct memory of something happening that could not have happened when my memory suggests, so I am choosing to call that the memory of a dream, lol.
I remember it being “recently, with the people from Shakespeare” which is how I know it didn’t happen because I have not worn Comic Book Apparel in that space! But we were discussing something and there was some slight derision towards someone for being a nerd, or a geek, or some form of social outcast. I laughed, indicated my Batman shirt, grabbed my Batman Branded Shoulder Bag, and slipped on my The Batman jacket and said, “Right?! Thank God nobody we actually care about could be considered a geek, a nerd, or a social outcast, eh?”
Like that’s the only thing I’ve retained. Was that action and that response. Frankly? IT could be worse. Dreams that I remember distinctly that have emotional impacts on me… stay in my head. The nightmare after Nancy and I separated? I still remember what the inside of that Police Station looked like! The other nightmare after Nancy started dating her new man? I still remember what the bed I was trapped on felt like! So… dreams and nightmares stick with my memory in specific ways. Which is why I can say with confidence, this Batman thing IS a dream; though I cannot remember context or anything of actual worth in a story or narrative fashion.
The afternoon was frustrating but… of course it was. It was one of those “All Access to The People” afternoons.
It is the Tuesday Traffic Court. So nobody has attorneys and everyone is here because they did something illegal in a car. What we know about the people (around here anyway) who drive like mad assholes is that they don’t give a fuck if what they did was illegal; they give a fuck that we’re demanding consequences. Going 98 miles per hour in a 35 miles per hour neighborhood? Only reason the fucking cop pulled me over was cuz I’m black. Slamming into a parked car when you don’t have a driver’s license, vehicle registration, or insurance? Not my fault that car was parked like shit! Literally… a gaggle… a clump… a flock of people who cannot see fit to why DRIVING is a privilege, why your privilege to drive may be withdrawn, and why there may be consequences to ignoring these facts!
Today was to be Trainee’s Day. He’s in charge, I’m there to back him up or step in if things get rowdy or out of hand. LITERALLY during his “Welcome” speech, he mentions that “Cell phones must be turned off or on silent.” Because that is a COURT RULE, that rule is posted in writing EVERYWHERE around the Courthouse, and last week - everyone ignored it and phones kept ringing during Court which, as you can imagine, royally pissed off the judge!! SO… trainee, hoping to prevent infuriating the judge, makes sure to remind people to silence or turn off their cell phones. IMMEDIATE push back! Not even like “Oh, c’mon- Court is boring” nothing sane like that. Jumped immediately to conspiracy bullshit. To sample some quotes:
THE FUCK YOU MEAN I CAN’T BE ON MY CELL PHONE IN COURT? WHAT YOU TRYING TO HIDE? SO, IS YOU SAYING THAT I CAN’T FILM IN HERE NEITHER? SO Y’ALL REALLY WANT TO FUCK THE BLACK MAN IN THIS COURT, YEAH? MAKE SURE TO FUCK HIM GOOD BUT HE CAN’T FILM IT, NO. THAT MIGHT MEAN SOME OF Y’ALL BACKWARD ASS RACIST FUCKS HAVE TO FACE SOME GOD DAMNED ACCOUNTABILITY!” Dude… 1) this is traffic court; I literally don’t give a shit. Not just about what you’re saying, but about anything involved in today’s hearings; 2) this is a COURT HEARING, you really think talking on your phone during a COURT HEARING is in any way appropriate? 3) FRANKLY you can play on your phone all you want, just make sure it is silent. If you are incapable of surviving because your phone ringer is set to silent- you have much more serious problems in your life!
And then… just all afternoon.... we don’t have a numbers system. We don’t have a “First Come, Take Your Number, We’ll Call You Up” they didn’t give us that. So, we ask people to respect one another’s time. If you were here at 1, c’mon up. If you got here two minutes ago, you’re going to have to wait behind all the other people that have been waiting for 20 minutes or more. THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. But it does require people to be (1) patient; (2) understanding; (3) honorable; and (4) kind. Which… this is Traffic Court… populated by people who slam into cars for going too slow and driving off because no insurance means get fucked. SO.... can’t rely on them for FUCK ALL. And just.... constant. CONSTANT! People literally screaming at each other “Everyone watched you just walk in! You gotta wait your turn!” responded to with “That ain’t how I live my life! I walked in, I’m ready to be heard. That’s how this works!” And variations of that theme! Honestly, had someone push someone else out of the way and announce “You’ll see me on my time. I ain’t waiting for shit. You see me when I say!” like.... what the mint sprinkled FUCK?! Is this not a Courtroom? Is there not a judge on the bench? Are you not here for violating the law? FUCKING HUMANS! I know I should be pleased at this. LOOK AT ALL THE EVIDENCE FOR MY THEORY ON 2025: The Madness Rises. But… I’ve already got a bloody glut of evidence, thank you! I don’t need more! You can well and truly stop the firehouse of insanity at any point, thanks!
Music to Bring me Back to Center so I can perform in this dress rehearsal tonight!!
Rehearsal was good. Some significant line moments among the cast; but this was our last Dress Rehearsal. If it went perfectly I would be panicking. We’re exactly where we need to be right now. SO… I just… have to fucking survive work tomorrow and then we open!!
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