Last night, it stormed something awful. Poor Nala. Considering rehearsal was over a little after 7, I had intended to give her the fun exercise time she’s been lacking but… the storming was so bad, even indoors she dared not venture too far from me. Power outage hit and everything. I’m guessing the tumult of the ongoing storm plays a part in my finally being able to wake early this morning. I showered, procured breakfast, arrived at work early- all of that. And I saw something that I suppose I should have understood sooner. There’s a whole floor of the courthouse under construction (again/still). The construction crews have been parking in the Employee Lot. Makes a certain kind of sense, ultimately. But… that certainly adds to the troubles I’ve briefly referenced. NO WONDER so many people who work here haven’t been able to secure parking places! Over a half dozen people started parking in our lot that the lot was never intended for!! Add that to the now over zealous ticketing policies of the Private Security around? It all makes sense now!
On paper, today is supposed to be… easily managed. A few hearings, a few tasks, and covering for other attorneys and that’s the day. We’ll see if practice conforms to paper predictions.
The morning that seemed to be mostly true. However, one of our sovereigns is escalating wildly. His gibberish motions are annoying the Clerks and he is now attempting to get Federal Investigators looking at our cops and at me personally because of THE CONSPIRACY AGAINST HIM because he isn’t required to follow the law or subject himself to the illegal authority of the State. Like… seriously?! ON SO MANY LEVELS!! (1) As ever, I am the prosecutor that believes the Government is over stepping and will do what I can in my role to make sure we’re being compassionate and respectful of people’s rights; (2) requesting THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT’S AID regarding your conspiracy theory?? Well… tragically, if this were a white man with alt-right conspiracies- the Feds may support. This is a black man declaring the law cannot touch him. You do not want the Feds attention right now! Trust me! But… fucking psychopaths are going to fucking psychopath. It’s just… our society’s frail guardrails against the lunatics are thinning. I‘m one of those guardrails. And believe me… you don’t want me to be one of the “last lines” protecting society from being overrun by violent lunatics.
Though… according to Social Media- my opinion is in the minority. As it now seems The Right wants violence in the street to secure the future of the White Race and The Left wants violence in the streets to topple the rise of authoritarian nationalism. SO… I suppose… maybe I should just… take my ball and go home. If we want violence in the streets, anarchy, and Might Makes Right… maybe the Old Fashioned Man needs to just sit this one out. Maybe there is no place for peace, debate, discussion, and progress. Maybe we do need to just burn it all down and watch the people fight and kill each other. But I… I really hope that’s not the case. I really really really hope that’s not the case.
(Image from Violence in Ballymena, Ireland… showing that this is a possible world wide the population is stressed and seeking relief through violence)
The day was weird generally. Without any of MY judges; I was mostly floating and filling in for OTHER people. All the while, my intern was doing the work I would normally be doing on a day like today. So… work is… odd. Weird. Tiring but in a way that doesn’t make me feel like I’m accomplishing anything.
And taking that energy out into the world? Also weird. Got home, apologized to Nala that - no, we aren’t going anywhere. But here’s outside and a treat. Then I have to go again. When I got to the outdoor rehearsal space? A car was blocking the entrance to our parking. I drove around it but this detail is an important detail to add as it is foreshadowing. Because… the outdoor space was permitting a small “band”… that’s not an appropriate term. What is it when you have two people, one on guitar, one on tambourine, and they sing hippy songs until they’re stopped? THAT. Which… okay, blocking actors from parking by the Theater Space is already a dick move. But… these two perform towards the entrance of the park. The Theater, as one can guess, is not at the entrance to the park. AND YET… I’m doing my “Oh! She misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak with but one green leaf would have answered her! My very visor began to assume life to scorn with her!” (that goes on for a paragraph, increasing in energy, loudness, and… it is Benedick crashing out, in the parlance of our time.) So… I start that monologue… and the Concert Assholes turn up their amp! Gosh, I’m sorry.. is my un-microphoned theater ass providing a louder show than your guitar or is it just that I’m more entertaining?! But… of course… as I am now competing to be heard, my lines go funky. Totally my fault, very unprofessional. I should know how to work around bullshit like that after 5 years of outdoor performances but… it got to me. Clearly.
From there, racing home to be home around 9 p.m. I have the cleaners coming tomorrow so I need to make sure everything is “as it should be” for that. And I tell you… this is that great monthly reminder about how little I actually accomplish around here. I have several bookshelves that are just… crammed with junk. Not organized, not set, just crammed. And atop them? The surfaces are crammed as well. Not organized, not intelligent. Oh, here’s the rice cooker still wrapped in plastic and sealed in the cardboard box it came in! And next to it? The Anim8Poster from two years ago. Next to the Autograph Book of My Hero Academia Voice Actors. And just.... so many things all around the house that just kind of sit there going, “You’re upset at my existence because you would like to clean your house and have it look a certain way. But you never do anything about me. Ever. So… feel bad because your house looks exactly the way you actually want it to; since you clearly don’t want to change it enough to actually fix it!” Which then gets me into an existential argument with myself arguing why that’s essentially “If he wanted to, he would” thinking and how strongly “If he wanted to, he would” thinking is nothing but massive horseshit because at the kindest assessment I can be about that mindset is that it is horribly, offensively ableist. AT BEST. So, “if he wanted to, he would” is bullshit all the time and I will not permit you to use a version of it against yourself!! BUT.. there’s my mental work for today.
Well… that and.... I shouldn’t ever get my hopes up but… Social Media is a great way of showing that what few outlets I have aren’t as connected as I think. I don’t have a lot of IRL friends. I keep up with people via SnapChat and Facebook and other such methods. And I shared the MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING information with every online Social Source. And… the only response to it I’ve gotten from anywhere? People in the show or my mother and her sisters. And that feels like a pretty solid summary of life for me lately. My mom, her sisters, my theater group........
SO that’s where this Thursday is, was, has been. I shall continue to clean; I shall continue to work; and I shall enjoy every last second of this MUCH ADO experience as I can for the next 10 days.
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