I’m taking the day off. The last couple of days have been absolutely horrible and I need a day. I have been applying to numerous jobs online and I have even thought about becoming a pharmacy tech in training. I applied to Walgreens and got denied right away but there’s plenty of other places needing people.
I realize that I can’t keep living like this and I need to get a real job. I am even thinking about going back to school because everyone says because I have a child, grants would pay for a good chunk. I know that I’m very smart and I am capable of working at a real place and making real money. All I do is constantly worry about money and even when I’m home with the family, I’m constantly thinking about how I need to be at work.
Today I have an appointment with a case manager and I don’t really want to go because I want to just hang out at home for the first time in months but they are going to help me with different resources and I’m hoping they can help me find someone to give me legal advice. I’m still pretty worried about the court date.
I think I’ve all but trained myself to realize I’m going to have to be okay no matter how this turns out. The main thing is I am trying to look at this as a positive that at least he won’t be able to threaten me with court anymore and I am just so fucking sick of this person doing what he can to convince me he has one over on me. All he’s ever done is try to intimidate me and make me feel like I’m done something wrong. I don’t feel that I have. I have quietly raised his child and left him the fuck alone. Most men I know have told me that I was the perfect BM. I didn’t ask him for a fucking thing or even talk to him.
He’s still posting everyday with a need whether it’s food or a ride. He got a $10 donation from gofundme out of the 4K he wants. Again, I don’t know how the fuck he’s going to try and receive joint custody when he obviously can’t even take care of himself. I think things are going to change heavily in the next 3 weeks and he’s going to change his tune real quick. I just can’t imagine how he would treat my child dealing with no money, no ride, and no stable place for her.
I stay mindful of the fact that things could change considerably in the next 3 weeks before court. I don’t see him wanting to try and figure out how to parent half the time when he’s struggling but I can also see him still wanting to because he thinks having her is going to help him get on public housing, food stamps and potentially get rid of CS. I seriously don’t see it happening.
Loading comments...