I was nervous walking into today. I didn’t get my weekend list done. So, that means the work list doesn’t get shorter. And this emotional struggle is a reason for both anxiety towards the work list and why there isn’t sufficient motivation to get the list done. If we pretend that I did everything on my list over the weekend? I could scratch it all off and feel accomplished.... until the week started again. Because then all of that shit goes back on the list. So there is never a feeling of accomplishment or being done. Merely a pause to breath before slamming against the same wall. Maybe I should make sure to watch “Heaven Sent” every weekend to gain inspiration.... if The Doctor can slam against an unbreakable wall for millions of years until it yields… and all that.
But I got into work. Wrote a schedule for the intern. Got to work myself. Prepared the evidence needed. Honestly, not sure I have a winning case in the afternoon but we’ll see when we get there. But looking into what is coming? So, Thursday, June 12th is a date where we don’t have Magistrates, so no trials that day. Thursday, June 19th? Well.... that’s a Holiday. Or is it? Which is the big thing. IS IT or ISN’T IT? Here’s the bullshit answer: It is a COUNTY Holiday, not a STATE Holiday. So, by law, County Employees cannot be forced to be at work that day. THAT SAID, the Magistrates (who are County Employees) were not notified of this. And have set TEN trials on June 19th!! So.... a recent record number of trials… on a date when there should be no Magistrates and no County Attorneys present. And because of how fucked up our system is… it is my responsibility to fix this error. This is… this is the thing about Iowa Law that has always horrified and infuriated me. BECAUSE we live in a State where the government says “We shouldn’t spend money unless it benefits me directly!” the Attorney Division has long had to deal. But we’re attorneys. Fixing issues and keeping things working is kind of what we do. So… a crippling Attorney shortage? Well, the Government won’t step in and do anything to fix it, so we do what we can to keep going. A deep lack of available Magistrates throughout the entire State? Well, the Government won’t step in and do anything to fix it, so we do what we can to keep going. And as far back as I can remember… a JUDGE does something wrong and.... it is on the Attorneys to step in and do what we can to keep going! So… return to the perpetual “YOU must fix EVERYONE’s fuck ups” and that’s what I’m looking at regarding the 19th!
I spent my lunch break reviewing my lines. We’ve not rehearsed in four days and the hours this weekend I had intended to spend with my script were, I must say, otherwise spent sleeping in hopes of conquering this remaining cough. We shall see if my efforts bear any fruit at all this evening.
Spent the afternoon trying to train the new guy hard. I don’t think he’ll be ready to take over next week, but I know the office would like him to. Which is somewhat ironic that their entire plan for “Chris goes on Holiday” is temporary worker from Law School. Everyone else in this office has gone on Holiday, and the plan was “Other attorneys will fill in as needed”… hell, we had THREE attorneys go on Holiday on the same week (during Spring Break) and it was “no big deal”… so.... nice to see that the plan for me is essentially “Uhm… train this kid who will only be here for a month or so. That’s how you can go on Holiday. Yeah.” Just another piece of evidence in the “Why don’t you take more vacations, Chris?” case file! I already have 237 hours accrued. That’s.... if I used up ALL of my time off, including sick and vacation… I could have almost six weeks off from work. AND THAT IS EVEN TAKING OUT THE HOURS I’VE ALREADY USED FOR THE END OF JUNE! So.... that’s the hours accrued minus 4 days off ALREADY! Meaning.... prior to that request… I could have had almost seven weeks off from work! But, of course, I was on that topic in the first place because of how this office is not set up to allow me to take vacation time. So… what care I how many days possible when the truth is… the preparation leading UP TO and the fallout UPON RETURNING are too painful. The cost/benefit analysis doesn’t pan out, It’s like IF Holiday restores 8 points of energy; but I must spend 3 points leading UP and spend 12 points UPON RETURNING, the total energy restored by going on Holiday is -7 Energy!!
Rehearsal was… okay? I made that classic mistake that happens this time of year. I know the parts I repeatedly screwed up, so I spent all of my time memorizing and practicing those parts. Which means the parts that I’ve never screwed up left my damned brain. So, now I just need to merge the two brains!! The long paragraphs I was struggling with and the short bits I used to do well and totally forgot!! But I was doing more character work today and the director like that, said I should do more so… a good rehearsal. But outdoors and rather hot, and I had to come directly from work so… still in my suit and tie!
Went from rehearsal to grocery store for some emergency supplies, came home, and tackled the big project I ignored during the weekend. You see, last weekend, I was sick. SO… I was focused mostly on eating food, drinking tea, and trying to recover from the cough, the sore throat, the several days of fever… in short, the kitchen fell into disaster! SO… I had to clean the kitchen and dining room of trash, dirty dishes, and other things. Which… took about two hours! All trash, recycling, dishes, etc. Did the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Prepared the Oats for tomorrow. I mean.... it’s shit I should have taken care of by now but it was a good use of the last two hours of my day! And then to bed!
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