My coordinator wants to move up in the organization. He would take it. He would take the job offer I was given. He wouldn’t be loyal to our program. He did give me his blessing.
It pays $3 more an hour. I could negotiate for more than that. In case we are not up to speed, I got a call, which was kind of ridiculous, from our Assistant Director. She is basically trying to hand me a promotion to be the communications director. This offer isn’t about performance, it is about politics. Head office is playing chess. We are in the dark, but our Executive Director was sent on leave. We have someone from a different organization filling in, and it looks like a hostile takeover. She has fired so many of our leadership and replaced them with people from her organization.
Our last Communications Director, I was buddies with him. He was miserable. They had him spread so thin. In the phone call, she said that she heard I was good at graphic design. No. I’m just half decent at Canva. I said. You’re hired! Was basically the response.
I have too much Scorpio energy not to be sus. We don’t know what is happening topside. They’re pulling new roles out of their ass. An events coordinator? A wellness & benefits coordinator? We are a nonprofit, so they have to draw their funding from our programs to pay for those roles. We all have different funders. The funders of a different program called the coordinator to confirm that all of the extra funding that they gave is going to the participants in the program and not to the organization. This makes me sus of topside because they suddenly care that my program is the most underfunded. We are taking matters into our own hands and meeting with them again soon to discuss that. Our Assistant Director has been talking about that with our funders without telling us. I get the vibe that they are trying to get a bigger pool to draw from. Or they are doing this out of the goodness of their own hearts… at face value, it looks like she is looking out for us.
I could use the money, that is where my mind is at. I did all that before, though. I made it all about the money, and I got stuck at a job I hated for thirteen years. This job pays $5 more than what I was making an hour at my previous one. Barely reflects on my cheque because I’m in a new tax bracket. An additional $3? I would negotiate for $4 because we don’t get raises. On that note, our Head Office is on a designated urban reserve. If I transfer there, my cheque is tax-exempt.
Blah, the job would crush my soul. My current job feeds my soul. If my coordinator moved up, I would move up into his spot. There would be my new raise. My coordinator asked to work on a Canva project together after I told him about this offer I was given. I think he wants an opportunity like this to fall into his lap. I’m rubbish at Canva. Navigating it. Our last comms director showed me the ropes. Showed me the branding guidelines, etc. I was doing his job, but for my program, and we are very very polished. If HR wasn’t going to take up all of my time as communications director, I would do great things as communications director. I interviewed for it 2 summers ago during an open house. Didn’t get it. The last guy was far more qualified. He had an educational background for it. He was a great writer. I’m just a blogger, lol. I would use ChatGPT prompts for everything, and I know what to avoid because of our last CD. Nobody at head office is literate in ChatGPT or Canva, so they think I’m some magician.
I keep thinking about the rainbow friendship bracelet I wear when we run programs. One of my participants gave it to me. Best friend bracelet. My current role is youth mentorship for at-risk indigenous youth ages 8-12 who are in conflict with the law. We worked hard to build relationships with them. One of the kids we just had an intake with used to be in our program. He was reluctant about joining us again because he got close to one mentor, then he quit, and then had another mentor who he didn’t want to get close to because we just up and leave. This has been the case across the whole organization. The organization is trying to act like big business instead of philanthropy. If I accept this job offer, I would be on the big business side of it.
It will be career suicide. I will be horrible at the job, and they will just fire me. They have no problem just doing that, I am witnessing that in real time. They just want somebody now until someone better comes along. Is what my intuition is telling me. I could offer to do it as a temp if they keep my original role open for me to return to.
Anyway, today is another day outside doing land-based learning. I am over it. We are skinning animals, ripping off their fur, and tanning their hides. Then we made some drums. The whole process stinks. Literally, the smell is so foul. I’m being a trooper, though. Tomorrow we are back at the office, finally! I’m homesick. The reason I had the epiphany about how my coordinator would handle this is because he is changing his shift tomorrow so he doesn’t have to have program with the kids, again. He doesn’t waste a single excuse to avoid the kids. He doesn’t even have an excuse for tomorrow, so he was just honest for once. I just don’t wanna. This is a lazy guy. Taurus in the 7H. He offered me to do the same thing, but I’m not gonna. The kids are our job. He isn’t going to do anything. Literally. Nothing until I get there.
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