"Outside" Of The Depression in Hello

Shame.
That was brought up in my last entry.
Why did I feel ashamed when I bolted from the brewery?

In my effort to go out and meet people I went in completely blind to this social hangout.

A tap room at 7 PM.

So crowded.

It is difficult enough to muster the courage to try something like this but fucking humiliating when the realization set in.

THAT’S why I felt ashamed.

When infuriates me, what hurts me, what brings out every bullshit I heard about “learning disability” is when I set myself up for failure.

I went in with innocent intentions and felt dirty when leaving.

That hits me like an open wound.

Exposed.

Bared for all to see.

Moving on…

Nice sunburn again.
But I finally FINALLY got the driveway finished of all the overgrowth. Plus I got to old man yell at a little kid walking home from school. This little fucker was going through my neighbor’s mailbox.

Seeing a heavily tattooed, bald, sweating, red, covered in dirt, wearing combat boots middle aged dude marching up to you with authority…

Anywho, luckily Johnny came to the door to see what was going on and I pointed out the kid and he thanked me.

I’m not being mean. But these kids leave a lot of trash in people’s yards when school lets out and I’m done with it. So that was my therapy today. Got up early and made a quick shopping trip.

Drill bits
Plastic trash can

Drilled a few holes in the can, moved the cars and broke out my lawn tools. It took about an hour and my hands are killing me but it looks so much better. The driveway is so broken up due to tree roots that it collects dead leaves and twigs and caused a massive headache for me. When it rained it flooded.

Hopefully I will not have that problem anymore.

All that detritus of decomposing leaves and dirt is now in that trash can finely mix for more potting soil.

I wish I could post pictures on here but I’m not doing another app. Too much stuff out there these days.

Hm…I guess I have turned into the old man yelling at passerbys.

5:42 PM
Stuffing my face with a leftover egg and rice noodle dish with charred pork belly and doused with enough Sriracha sauce to bring the heat.

My Porridge of Pain as I’ve named it.

I love the flavor of the chili to endure the heat. I’m picky about hot concoctions.
Tobacco sucks, Cholula’s good.
Sriracha I discovered in New York at Dumpling Man. Been hooked since. The flavors of these specific spices and chilis adds a new character to a dish and oh ya, I’ll endurn’ the burn.

A nice hearty meal after a long day.
It dawned on me that I started and completed a project. The trash can plus the rest of the driveway.

Minor victories.

✌️