The world is asleep. I was up before 4 AM. I’ve never felt such peace before. No pain or pleasure. No dread or pressure. The world can wait. Life can wait just that much longer.
This time last year, I was discovering that I have ADHD. Spent my whole life wondering what was wrong with me. I didn’t even know that I needed to name it so I could tame it. This time 10 years ago, I was struggling to eat what was on my plate. I was about to go plant-based. This time right now? What will I be looking back on and saying?
I hit pause on life. I don’t want my life journey to be about health and maintenance. Healing isn’t supposed to be salvation. I don’t have a mindset issue, I have a metabolic issue. This is my current journey. I am trying to reset my nervous system. It has been firing off stress hormones, leaving no room for anything else. Ancient spiritual wisdom is nice, but we have modern problems. So we need modern solutions. I quit coffee. I’m quitting caffeine altogether after next weekend. I’m trying to get my ass back in the kitchen which is where my solution is. If my theory is correct, my inner equilibrium will be balanced, and I can just move on with my life.
So many stalled projects. So many broken dreams. So little dopamine to bridge those gaps.
I was failing my classes this time last year. I haven’t looked back. I’m looking back now, and I want to try again. This time, I know how to manage my ADHD.
Today, or over the next few days, I want to build my vision board. It’s lame, I know. I need to connect to it. I abandoned myself once I got this new gig 8 months ago. Then I have to start making my dreams come true again.
I hit my gym quota for the week. I can take a rest day. I have a massage at noon. Then I head to my mother’s for a family function. I’m looking forward to it. The morning is all mine. We have a heat warning. I want to lie in the sun. It will be hard to find time for that, but if it is hot enough in the morning, that is where I will be.
I have been seeing so many synchronicities and coincidences again. Need to align myself right. Something is coming or going. Tomorrow I have my first chiro appointment. She focuses on the nervous system itself. I am nervous, but we will see.
Anyway, I can get a move on with my day, I suppose.
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