productivity in Craftwork

I have a hard time parsing productivity. I have had a hard time justifying spending time on things I enjoy for the sake of enjoyment, but developing the art room has shifted this. Now feeling productive doesn’t result in some buried guilt or anger that I’m being forced to produce because of capitalistic conditioning. What I produce these days is because I enjoy the process. I don’t feel the need to finish a painting in a day because who cares if it takes me 2 months to finish. Same for stained glass, or cross stitch, or sewing. I’m putting rhinestones all over my helmet and that definitely isn’t going to happen in a day.
I have all the time I need for ideas to germinate, for problems to work themselves out in the in between moments. I’ve even started getting past the “I fucked this up, it is ruined forever” perfectionism that I struggle with. I try to find a way to work around mistakes, incorporate the shift into the final product.

Today I stayed home from work because I’d had a headache since Wednesday morning. It started as a small irritation that followed me all day, but by evening it was starting to ramp up. Overnight I would wake up to stabbing pain in my temple.
Today I:
- scrolled tik tok until I needed and enjoyed a coffee.
- hemmed a pair of pants
- cut the neck off a t-shirt (t-shirts are so boring I’m; trying all kinds of things to make them less so)
- did some of Red’s birthday present (a bee paint by numbers)
- did more work on the craftsman style night light, from cutting and grinding the last piece to soldering all 4 pieces together, to soldering the mounting clip on, and turning on the light for the first time. It’s very pretty. Not my best work, but that’s ok too. Incidentally I still can’t figure out why I did such a better job with my mom’s equipment than I can with my own.
- started rhinestoning the Eye of Ra on the side of my helmet.
- re-started the “Be kind (of a bitch)” cross stitch for Bastet
- tidied the art room, digging some things out and putting others away.

The greenhouse got an entirely new design this week. I realised that I had not accounted for snow-load for the roof panels. So now instead of a 8’ front and a 7’ back, it’s a 9’ front and a 5’ back. The back will be shelving anyway, and I’m only 5’ so I’ll be able to stand anywhere inside. Figuring out the window placements for this one was a lot harder than the first iteration, but I enjoyed the challenge. I really enjoy designing stuff. Getting the ideas in my head down on paper. So far the total for the greenhouse is around $800, though I think I’ll save the roof for next year and just use a tarp for this season. It’s three seasons anyway, proper panels won’t change that. The roofing panels are not cheap. I’m picking up the wood this weekend and that’s going to be over $200. So far I’ve only spent $100 on a storm door and $60 on windows. I have so many windows. I’ll definitely have left overs.

I need to get to bed. So glad tomorrow is Friday.