Entry 134: Random Advice and Meandering in Much Ado About Nothing

Let’s start today with a small tip about how to protect yourself from certain things.
If you are involved in a car accident and are the only person in the car… sitting in the passenger seat suddenly does not tell authorities that you weren’t the driver. Further, when speaking with the officer at the traffic accident, when he asks what happened, if you wish to rely on a defense that you were not driving… it is best to add that into your description of what took place. Instead of simply saying, “SO I was backing up”. Because a statement like that suggests that, despite being in the passenger seat when police arrive, you were the responsible party. But the person being charged with NO INSURANCE has repeatedly been adamant that (a) she wasn’t driving so the case needs to be dismissed; and (b) she doesn’t need to have insurance to drive in this state. SOooOOoo… yet one more fucking person adopting the “I know the law, shut up, I know the law” who is, in fact, entirely incorrect. And here’s the really important thing… the car was registered to the Defendant. The Defendant is the sole listed owner/driver of the vehicle. The vehicle was not “backing out of a house” it was at a business. And the law specifically writes into the statute that any vehicle in a parking lot held open to the public is “not the origin of the vehicle” for purposes of “was this car on the roads?” SO… only person in the car, made admissions, does not have insurance (nor thinks they are required to)..... then yeah we’re not dismissing this based on your assertions after the fact that you weren’t driving and don’t need to have insurance!

Meanwhile, I have an additional matter this morning that is best summarized as “People who don’t know what they are doing and have destroyed their brains with Meth are too damned confident that they know better than everyone else.” In August 2024, a man beats someone nearly to death. Is charged with this crime. Posts bail. Is thereafter arrested with a syringe and charged with Paraphernalia. Paraphernalia is a $105 ticket. Now, of those cases… which sounds more serious or more important? Correct, the beating someone nearly to death case. SO, as a matter of course, since that case is both older and more important… the ticket would be pushed out to let the older and more serious case take priority. In fact, the honest truth, if this man goes to prison- the ticket will likely be dismissed because… we can’t bleed an inmate who is doing a term of years. I mean, we can, but I typically don’t. No, no, no, no, no, no. Tut tut, silly attorney! Defendant KNOWS better and is demanding the State pay for a full forensic work up, including DNA and Finger Prints on the syringe, to prove that he never used it!! ::MASSIVE HEAD SLAP:: First, you don’t get to demand testing like that for a ticket. Second, the older case takes priority. Third, the older case carries a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison versus a fucking minimum fine ticket. The older case takes priority. Fourth, the crime is not use, it is possession so if it was found on your person or within grabbing distance, you got charged with it. Technically speaking, the DNA and Fingerprints could come back with nothing and it would not relieve of the charge of possession. Fifth, he’s back in jail on newer charges as he was found recently with a shit ton of meth on his person. And he’s already filed demands for DNA and Finger Printing in that case to prove what was literally removed from the footwell under his feet wasn’t his. It was under your feet. It was, as described by several eye witnesses, in a position where you had put it after the police initiated a traffic stop. BUT AGAIN: meth is a terrible thing. As a doctor said to me recently… anything that kills you is merciful; anything that robs you of your mind is where truly terrible lives. (BTW: even discussing this matter with the judge elicited a “Of course we’re moving the Paraphernalia! Otherwise… that’s… just stupid.”)

In completely fucking abysmal news: Last night, the Iowa Legislature put forth a bill directing the United States Supreme Court to overturn Same-Sex Marriage. Yes, I know that isn’t how laws work and it isn’t how the Supreme Court works but we live in TRUMP’s ecosphere now so Project 2025 gets to dictate the law.... not actual law. And so, since the literal Christo-Fascists want a 100% White Cisgender Heterosexual Country… they will do literally anything to make it happen. This is one of those times where I throw off my hat and jump up and down on it because there are only two possibilities for Trump Voters or Never Kamala Voters.
(1) You were literally too stupid or too lazy to process what we’d all been saying about Project 2025 and thought “That’ll never happen” or
(2) You are genuinely so evil that you honestly actually wanted Project 2025 to control this country.
So, states like Iowa who embraced Project 2025 like it was a fucking mandate have been speed running that shit. They aren’t the only ones. There are State Education Boards that are now requiring schools to teach that the 2020 election was stolen. There are State Education Boards dictating that the Ten Commandments must be in every classroom and taught as historical and religious truth. There are State Education Boards ORDERING public schools to literally teach the Bible! And in Iowa? We already removed Transgender Citizens from all civil rights protections; which has already resulted in higher reports of being terminated from employment or denied housing or bank loans for Transgender Iowans. We continue to push for millions of tax payer dollars to pay for Private School Tuition… money that is reaped from the Public School funds. We push anti-Fed Gun laws constantly, securing that 18 year olds can buy firearms without license, permit, or class… giving guns a higher constitutional scrutiny than gender (so yes guns have more Constitutional Rights than Women in this state)… we even keep trying to push for guns in schools by trying to make sure we can clear the way for Open Carry During School Hours for teachers. And now this. Now for an active, illegally written, foolish and hateful REMOVE GAY MARRIAGE attempt. Our state earnestly refused to feed starving children last year and we’re putting our focus on this shit?! Are you SERIOUS?!

I had a thought today based on a frequent back and forth that gets us nowhere. Essentially, one person says “DEI is absolutely destroying this country!” The other person says, “Okay, so define DEI for me.” And the first person retorts, “WHY do you liberals always do that? You know what DEI means, why do you always start THERE?!” And… while I had the space and time, I wanted to approach it from a “Politics aside, the first three months in law school repeatedly say words matter, define before debate!” perspective. Because we see this in Court all the time which is another way that Pro Se frustrate the fuck out of all of us. Because for Pro Se, words are words and I can use whatever word I want so stop trying to control my language! But for Attorneys, words have meanings and specific and certain words mean something very different from other specific and certain words. A High School Level Example would be something like “I object.” You can object to whatever you want outside of a Courtroom and that’s fine. If you object inside a Courtroom, you will be asked “On what grounds?” You will need to support your objection with a legal ground and a sound argument. And “Because he’s lying” doesn’t count as either of those. So definitions are important when discussing things like LAW and POLICY and PROCEDURE as a matter of fact.
This became a KEY argument for me when everyone was freaking the fuck out of CRT while not being able to actually DEFINE IT or differentiate it from simply “teaching accurate American history.” Critical Race Theory is a theory taught at law school tying the history of law and policy to issues of systemic racism. That is what CRT is. That is its definition. It is recontextualizing the study of law and policy to understand, determine, or debate the role of Systemic Racism in the creation of law and policy. When I informed my father of that definition, he lost his fucking mind telling me that I was lying, obfuscating, and trying to be tricky. Because the CONSERVATIVES IN CONGRESS were saying that CRT is already in Kindergartens where they are teaching White Children that Black Children have been beaten up by the government, so that we need to prioritize black kids over white kids!! Which… is not the definition of CRT. And was actually not happening as a nation-wide existential problem the way the GOP was saying. BUT this fear of CRT was 100% pushed to remove education about slavery, Jim Crow era, and the Civil Rights. SO… CRT paranoia was successfully invented based on bad faith definitions of a Law School course, and then used to actively prevent children from learning history in favor of a more PRO racist, pro-white course of study. CRT Paranoia is how schools are now able to discuss slaves as “travelers to America” instead of using the word SLAVES. SO DEFINITIONS MATTER.
That is the very bedrock upon which “Define DEI” starts in terms of discussion or debate. AND for the people that identify as Christian, I have a further example.
Imagine the DEI debate reframed into any religious conversation. Instead of someone saying “DEI is destroying America” someone says “Christianity is destroying America.” For Christians, that seems… like a really weird thing to say. Define what Christianity means to you! So if the person said, “Christianity is destroying America” and then went on to define Christianity as “A racist group of pro-wealth Americans that support executing divorced women, gay men, and non-Christians”.... you’d likely object to that definition! Even if you could understand why they might consider some Christians to be like that… you’d benefit from knowing that THAT was the definition. So when the Definition of Diversity Equity and Inclusion is “a system in hiring and teaching that promotes considering multiple backgrounds, races, ethnicities, and types of thinking” versus “a system that promotes hiring based on quotas or pushing unqualified minorities over qualified white people”… you see how the difference in definition fucking matters!
By the way, funny if terrible story? So… you know how the Right keeps saying “Universities are Liberal!” Many DEI offices across the country were specifically trying to promote “diversity of thought” via DEI Offices. So… by looking at the make up of their institution and intentionally attempting to consider multiple backgrounds, races, ethnicities, and types of thinking.... so an ironic cost of ANTI-DEI pushes from Federal and State politicians is that more Conservative Minded people may now not be given the consideration they would have otherwise. If we can’t consider “diversity” as a reason to consider a candidate, then the school will just keep hiring people based on Networking, Connections, and “Meritorious” Qualifications.

In… completely different news:
Trial lady never showed up but called in, so that got continued.
I have, this week, started three new Hinge conversations… all of whom have stopped responding. Of course. That’s a particular dance I honestly do not understand. I would like to get to know someone a little before we go on a date. I thought getting to know each other a little was part of the SAFETY for women approach. I honestly cannot conceive of “matching with a guy online then scheduling a date right away” because… you know NOTHING about him! Is that why the social media response from women on dating apps is “Men are trash!”? I’m being sincere there a bit. Because I’m getting the feeling that “if our first conversation doesn’t end with him asking me on a date, I’m going to stop responding”… and that blows me away. OF COURSE men are trash if they don’t value getting to know you or prioritize mutual safety! Truly, if your Dating App approach is “this guy is cute. we need to meet up!” OF COURSE he will eventually cheat on you, or disrespect you, or possibly physically hurt you… you know nothing about him before you decided to go on a date with him! And I’m thinking “Okay, so try it. Next time you get a conversation, ask them Would you like to chat a bit first, or would you prefer setting a Meet Up straight away? but that… just… that is the creepy. That is the ick/cringe/etc!! That’s the Digital Dating version of back in the Bar Days, shaking a woman’s hand and saying “Do you wanna get out of here?” WHICH.. I know did many men very well back then; but I always felt was… just… shitty Player pick up artist behavior. Thereby reinvigorating my, “If this is what is happening, no wonder the renewed vigor around MEN ARE TRASH.” If you’re rewarding pick up artists or “rush to meet”, then of course. That shit is even easier on Dating Apps for people of low morals or shit ethics!
A pickup artist “subtly” enhances their profile pic. You match. He goes straight for the date set up. You meet up. He doesn’t look enough like his profile picture, so you decide to either stay and give him a chance or leave because fuck him. IT DOESN’T MATTER MUCH TO HIM because he’s set the same “trap” for three other women on the app tonight! And if just ONE decides “He’s not as chiseled, and certainly not 6’; but I’ll give him a chance” then that’s victory for him! Again… you wonder about “Men are trash”… this kind of thing is absolute proof!!
So, I guess what ^ that was is… I suppose if I significantly changed my behaviors and strategies on Dating Apps, I could likely have more success. But as ever… I would rather be authentic, curious about a person, prioritizing safety and trying to build something. Which… I guess… of course and no wonder the Apps suck for me, then. Hoping for honest, legitimate connection in a world ripping itself apart with its commodification of relationships, furthering divides, and social madness.

Lunch was a bit of a struggle today. I wanted something… substantial.. and tasty. But requiring myself to keep under 750 calories for lunch is a good thing and worth the effort. Though, I’ll also say… after Wednesday and with the shit that’s been going on? MAN are the alcohol cravings getting irritating. Just… walked into my office after my hearings this morning and thought, “Any good DARK rum would hit the spot right now!” Which… for health, for weight, for the show… NO. I just… I honestly hope I can wait out moments like this. I’m not sure if I’m trying for a Purely Sober Life or if I’m mostly “Taking a break, hoping to see results in my health”.... but either way, I hope I am building some better, healthier habits through all of this.

But then the afternoon at work was… a nice Karmic Reward for yesterday! Not only did I catch up, I got ahead! Legitimately. Everything I would normally do on Monday has been addressed, but for a single scheduling matter! SO… that was a nice feeling.

On my way out of the office, I got a text that rehearsal was cancelled.
To harken back to a Hermia statement: I had an Autistic Moment. Because… my schedule, which had been carefully considered and written out and organized, was now worthless. And immediately my brain said, “Okay, so more time at the dog park and grab fast food on the way home.” NO! Bad brain!! But because of this… I had a pretty productive night. Almost two hours at the dog park, cleaned the house, took out the trash, did the dishes, did laundry, stripped the bed, put new sheets on the bed, filmed a TikTok, and cleaned the inside of my car… well, not cleaned, tidied. I still want to put some time and effort into a few things tonight but I’ll list them just in case I don’t get to it because I WANT to get to it.
(1) Responding to Notes for E129 and E132
(2) Work on the structure of the Housing Repair and Respond List
(3) Review personal e-mails and return them
(4) Build a suitable itinerary for the weekend.

So, I still have to do those.

But while I was doing the stuff I had already done? I had videos playing. And here’s TikTok tonight.
SO… what the algorithm gets from me based on videos produced and videos watched
I am a left leaning single man struggling on dating apps whose interests outside of politics are best summarized as NERDY: comic books, novels, video games, anime, chess, parody music, and board games. So… that’s what the algorithm reads. Which sometimes sends the algorithm into some pretty triggering places… which I am certain is the point!
After finishing a video reviewing the new ANTI-GAY crap coming out of Iowa’s Capital, the next video’s opening line was
“There is no Male Loneliness Epidemic. Just a male TRASH epidemic! 93% of all of my interactions with men, ALL MEN are all about the guy trying to get with me and excuse me, I know I’m not a 10 or anything but you do NOT stack up!”
So… I did not wish to subject myself to her next 4 minutes and moved to the next video. Which was a video of a woman at a desk saying:
“Can we just not have men on dating apps? I’m upset that I am attracted to men and women should be curating who is and is not allowed on these dating apps! Because… what’s out there? UNACCEPTABLE!”
Well, that was a short one… so I couldn’t shift soon enough, but yeah- not going to let that one repeat. Next Video. Which was a woman sitting in front of a green screen and she opened the video with,
“Welcome to the easiest game show online. I call it THIS IS WHY YOU’RE SINGLE, YOU PATHETIC MAN where I go over all of the DMs I’ve received today to demonstrate why men ARE THE WORST.”
Fuck! Why so many in a row?! Is this because I literally said online in a space I haven’t even published yet that I’d struggled with Hinge this week? Damn. Next video… OH GOOD, it is a man… a left leaning man who was once a martial arts celebrity, I enjoy his content. What is his video today:
“What you incel assholes need to realize is that if you wanted a woman, you just need to talk to her like she’s a person. That’s it! It’s THAT EASY! Just TALK TO A WOMAN and TREAT HER LIKE A PERSON!”

OKAY! FUCK THIS! No more TikTok during chores tonight! SHEESH. WHY… why would I get 4 videos like that back to back to back to back?? Like… my use of TikTok is largely “Here’s what’s fucked up in America” or “Here’s what’s fucked up in Iowa” or “Dating Apps are about profit, and we need to learn a way or create a space where we can just be a COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE again instead of just profiles generating profit”. And… that combination… gives me this… trough of MEN SUCK, MEN ARE TRASH, MEN SHOULD HAVE LESS ACCESS, and DATING APPS ARE EASY IF YOU AREN’T A PIECE OF TRASH videos?! Genuinely… what the fuck?