At this point, I think it is just evident that my depression is not a mindset issue but a metabolic one.
Monday was a perfect day. I got to spend it alone. I spent it lying in the sun. I took my car in for regular maintenance. I wiped everything down in the apartment. Did my full detox regimen. Then headed over to a friend’s for the evening. She cooked for me. Made my favourite. Something contained wheat, though. I didn’t even wonder why I was feeling depressed yesterday. It carried over today. I got ChatGPT to make that make sense. I’m just frustrated.
I’m frustrated because I don’t want to be another schmuck who’s life journey is recovery. I’m on a hEaLiNg JoUrNey. Just act right! By Saturday, this will be behind me. I just have to ride this out and do my best to make sure that nobody else gets hurt because all I want to do is bring the pain to everyone else.
What’s the opportunity? Depression tells me what I want. What I need. I am paying attention to what comes up. Taking mental note of everything relevant. It’s hard when I find so little relevant.
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