Coffee makes me a better person.
Dear Log: It’s been two weeks without coffee. Feeling homocidal.
I was completely unhinged yesterday. I used to say that I would never quit coffee because it makes me a better person. Yesterday I was a worser person, coincidence? I think not.
I feel bad about my attitude and behaviour yesterday. I was properly upset with myself. My roommate had her first boxing match on Saturday and won it. She was probably looking forward to my coming home so she could celebrate and talk about it. I am acting like she is dead to me. I’m being passive-aggressive with door slamming and things of that nature. I can’t turn it off. Apparently, I don’t know how to communicate effectively. She knows what my problem is, and I could have waited a few more days so she could enjoy her victory. Instead, I am going out of my way to make her feel so small and insignificant. My Scorpio Mars is hijacking me to take some power back.
I blew my vocal cords out in the car on my way to the grocery store. My smartphone has extra chromosomes. I did not have the patience to fight with it. Then I was mean-mugging the whole time at the store. Just what women need. A six-foot-tall man giving them dirty looks and gestures for them to get out of his way. I could see the fear in their faces. Keep it toxic my frens!
I’m already starting to feel unhinged today, and I ain’t even had breakfast yet. I’m fighting with my website. The IT team from SiteGround hasn’t updated me on my ticket. It’s been seven days and my website isn’t working. It says live and active when it isn’t.
I have a notification telling me that I need to point my domain name to their site. I used it before with GoDaddy. So I log into GoDaddy and discover that I have no registered domain names with them. ChatGPT is also telling me that my domain is a subdomain and I need to own the main domain. We checked, and it isn’t really active. It expires in 8 months. I sent an email to the owner offering to buy it. I would rather have that domain anyway because it is my brand name. It’s what I originally wanted. I hope they’re reasonable because they aren’t using it. It’s active but too outdated to function. They’ve had it since 1999. Let’s all manifest that they just give it to me or accept pennies. Otherwise, I will wait until it expires and try to scoop it up. I will sit at my computer on January 26, 2026, the entire day, and wait for it to become available. Eventually, the plan is to trademark and or copyright my brand. That’s going to be a headache for another day.
The good news is that I can still build my webpage behind the scenes. The novelty will feed my ADHD, and I will be able to hyperfocus on this. I just need to make it pretty and start blogging. I have so much free time at work, it feels criminal. I can work on my personal projects there. The only problem is that my coordinator is always around me. I am not worried about getting in trouble. It’s just the presence that is distracting.
Speaking of distracting presences. My roommate left for work, and now I get to be alone for the day. I am not even going to hit the gym. I just want to feel alone and safe so I can unmask. It’s been too peopley out there and in here and just everywhere.
I am going thrifting with my sister today. We are dragging my nephew along. I am looking forward to that. I am hitting the big reset button first. Full detox regimen and self-care routine. I need to ground myself. I need to be alone with my own thoughts. It’s the detox bath that I am looking forward to the most. I hit legs really hard yesterday. The DOMS are coming. My legs are already feeling crispy.
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