RAD: Méav in Much Ado About Nothing

Rate A Date: Méav

Location: Local Coffee Shop

General Feeling: Probably No Second Date

Let’s get into it:

I woke up on time, showered, gelled my hair (probably far too much) and went to the coffee shop. I looked around as soon as I entered and did not see Méav, but admittedly I didn’t remember exactly what to expect. I got my tea, took a spot, and started to realize… I was a LOT more nervous than I expected to be! Méav walked in through the back door and I recognized her immediately. Though, I have to admit- while cute was an appropriate descriptor, she was a lot more attractive than I remembered. Honestly? That made me more nervous. That made me “my hands are shaking as I sip my tea” nervous which just… doesn’t happen. I’ve stared down child molesters, I’ve been the only person speaking on stage in front of hundreds, I’ve prosecuted felonies to Juries, I once had to argue a Mock Trial case in front of a State Supreme Court Justice! Where in the hell was this nervousness coming from?! Her hair was a little wild but excellent color (I did say the speed dating had more Raven Haired and Redheads, right?) and she was wearing… I don’t know what the correct term is. This is not to diss her in anyway but it was like “Athleisure?” I think is the word. Leggings, and a sporty shirt with a zipper in front. The leggings showed that she has nice legs and good posterior; the zipper was down enough that a few times I did have to intentionally make sure I wasn’t looking in that direction. She was nice, very positive energy! She’s Catholic, still practicing, and comes from a big family. Like… she’s 1 of 5 kids big family. And it sounds like her 3 older siblings all have kids, having all recently had babies. SO… I don’t think I’m stretching to think she’s got babies on the mind at least somewhere. Which is a positive for me. The conversation was… consistent but not fluid, which I totally take the blame for. The nervousness really… it honestly surprised me, threw me, and significantly impacted the entire exchange.

Ultimately, we wound up talking for close to an hour, which is good. But the conversation felt less like “Wow! It’s already been an hour? I want to keep talking but I have to go! Oh, call me? I want to do this again.” It wasn’t that. She was more like… after some silence and looking around… “Huh, it’s already been an hour? Well, I enjoyed meeting you. It was nice to meet you. Thank you for this.”

But of course… here lies the rub. Rules of Dating. Reaching out for a second date falls on me. Am I up for a second date? Maybe? I honestly don’t know. She was attractive, I enjoyed talking to her, she’s very different from me and her background is very different from mine.... which I actually tend to see as a positive but I know means we won’t have as much to talk about in some ways… she definitely gave off “not a drama epicenter, not overly needy, but able to connect with people” vibes… which is a good thing. And it is honestly difficult for me to consider “am I thinking this because A or because B?”
It didn’t feel like a second date was likely. But am I thinking that because my fucked up brain tends to think “Second Date for women who NEED me or who HAVE ISSUES” and I desperately need to stop doing that! or Were the no second date signals not only “maybe present” but “loudly present” and I’m overthinking it because I want to be in a relationship again? OR am I thinking “I was really nervous, she was really pretty- I want to do that again” and that’s okay?

As far as First Dates are Interviews, this was a good interview. A few questions that I would like answers to before hiring her but those can be a little personal (and yes, I’m talking politics mostly), but overall she interviewed well. The three qualities that made me say yes at speed dating were still present: (1) Good Energy; (2) Reason to believe she can be altruistic; (3) a desire and ability to have a conversation lasting more than 5 minutes. All still very much still true. I like her hair, I like her smile.

I don’t know. I may be overthinking it? But… yeah, my honest assessment is that I was getting “No Second Date, but thank you” vibes towards the end.