Entry 47: Cinemas & Saturdays in Much Ado About Nothing

The… weekend.
As I said, on Friday I took myself to a double feature. Of course, I availed myself of their online amenities and even put my concessions order in before hand. WHICH one would assume, especially for a busy Friday, a busy Holiday Friday, and a busy Holiday Friday with a Marvel Movie Opening.... (1) you’d imagine the theater would be fully staffed; (2) you’d imagine that pre-orders would have been handled and placed in the Preorder Pick Up Section. Neither of those things were true. The 4 concessions registers (plus Online Pick Up Area) had 2 employees. The online pickups themselves? Were filled “as needed”. Meaning.... I still had to wait in line… but a line that wasn’t moving because the people waiting in the actual concessions lines were being served (twice over before we were even addressed). Finally, after the PickUp Order line moved, the pushy asshole next to me (yes NEXT TO not BEHIND because “Online orders, bro- it’s not like first come first serve! My order was for 6:30!” pushed his way in front and deposited SIX giant re-fillable popcorn boxes and listed off a battalion’s level of food he “was still waiting on!” The manager came over and grabbed one of the cleaning crew to help him, while the manager checked on me. I informed them of my Online Order number; they gave me the hot dog and an empty glass. It should be noted that while I waited- pushy asshole had 3 friends join him, all with their own re-fillable popcorn boxes and he put those on the counter as well and said, “Fill these, too!” I had ordered candy with my online order, as always. So… where is the candy? Manager said to just grab it from the shelves. In the concessions lines proper. Where people are literally leaning on the shelves while they wait. I scoured those shelves. SCOURED. I physically had to MOVE PEOPLE OUT OF THE WAY.... the candy I had ordered was not on the shelves. I know I could have taken any other candy there and called it a day… but I used to work in a cineplex. I’m not going to fuck their inventory and I’m not going to open myself up to potentially criminal liability just because THEY don’t know how to run an Online Order. So, I grabbed the manager and informed her. She told me to take any candy from the shelf or, if I really wanted her to, she could check the back to see if they had what I’d ordered. Well, not to be a dick, but yes- the last thing. I would like what I’ve paid for, please. She went off to the back to look. And listen, I know it isn’t any of the employees’ faults. Not really. We live in an age where even corporations are using Learned Helplessness. “Fully staffing on a Holiday Friday Night would cost money. Having dedicated staff to help with online orders and secondarily help other areas isn’t profitable long term. Making sure shelves are fully stocked costs manpower that we don’t have money for.” I get it. We live in the era of MASSIVE PROFITS matter more than CUSTOMER SATISFACTION because in an age that has embraced monopoly power- fuck the customers. This is the only cinema in a 30 mile radius. This is the only cinema with more than 2 screens in a fifty mile radius! And while I appreciate they “need to watch their margins due to streaming” most of the movies they are showing have exclusive contracts that prevent them from being streaming until they are no longer showing in Cinemas. SO… maybe instead of looking at every opportunity to “spend as little as possible to maximize profits” we consider the early Capitalist Perspective of “satisfied customers make for predictable profits.” Again, for those who study these things- this is the 1980s Regan Shift to Economic Models. “An economy based on shareholders; not customers. Not supply/demand. Not quality products at affordable prices. Not customer satisfaction. Can we show quarterly growth in perpetuity to shareholders who otherwise have NOTHING to do with the business?” Thus both the concept “predatory capitalism” and “cancer capitalism” as Cancer is a good model for “permanent unyielding growth even in the face of its own destruction.”

The “candy” situation took so long to resolve, of course, that as I walked to the theater door, Pushy Asshole from earlier beat me to the door, grabbed the handle, then stood there shouting at his friends on if they were going to join him, or if he wanted to just save their seats, or what? (1) Have this conversation NOT blocking a door, you giant douchebag; (2) when you bought your tickets, your seats were assigned to you- not only do you not need to save seats; you actually can’t; (3) FUCKING MOVE!
The Captain America movie itself was serviceable. It was not a “must see on the big screen” experience but the Political Protests from both sides were also proven to be UTTER BULLSHIT like I knew they would be. See, the RIGHT is protesting for three primary reasons
(1) Harrison Ford is an open critic of Donald Trump, and he is playing a super powered President. “Donald Trump is a super powered president; not this old cuck has-been”
(2) Anthony Mackie is a black Captain America which is, for reasons beyond my understanding, offensive to the Right. “I get they wanted to axe Steve, but give it to Bucky instead!!”
(3) Anthony Mackie, reflecting on both the comic book CAP and MCU Cap, made statements in an interview that CAP stands for the idea of America and not the government; so when the government is so far from that ideal, Cap shouldn’t work with that government. GOSH, pretty much the entire ETHOS behind Captain America: Civil War but… White Cap Civil War movie under an Obama Presidency with that ethos- fuck yeah! Black Cap Brave New World movie under a Trump Presidency with that ethos- fucking die!! (These morons are fucking… seriously?!)
But tragically, the left is not without its equal bullshit in this regard. It was leaked early that Brave New World would feature the character Ruth Bat-Seraph which is what they call her throughout the entire film!!! But Marvel fans know her by her codename: SABRA. In the comic books, Sabra is a mutant born in Jerusalem, Israel and (as is required by law in Israel) worked for the Israeli Army. She is former Mossad, and used her Mossad connections and training to funnel vital intel to the X-Men. SO lots of liberals were all over social media saying to boycott this film, BAN this film because it “celebrates Israeli terror” by “featuring a Mossad agent character!” I don’t even need to do my eye rolling calling this bullshit take for this, but I still will later. But the thing is… much like with MANY characters from Comic Book to Screen… they change the character. In significant ways. AS A FOR INSTANCE: Google Ms. Marvel’s Comic Book Powers then compare that with Ms. Marvel’s MCU Powers. They change massive fundamental stuff ALL THE TIME. And they did so with Bat-Seraph, too. First and foremost, they never call her Sabra, so you could argue she isn’t even the character people are protesting. Second, while they do say that she was born in Israel, they also call her a former Black Widow. So… born in Israel, but trained/brainwashed by a Soviet organization before being freed by Black Widow and her family in the Black Widow movie. SO, people move their protest to the ol’ Gal Gadot criticism. “Bat-Seraph is played by Shira Haas who was born in Israel so was in the Israel Army. She supports Israel, fuck any movie she’s in!” You… child. Do you not hear how this is like when the right says, “The actress they hired to play this Muslim character is actually Muslim! DEI! DEI! DEI!” If you’re looking for someone to play an Israeli character, hiring an Israeli sounds wise. It’s almost like the LEFT has people who feel about Israel the way the RIGHT does about the Arabic World; so you’re just shouting the same bullshit at each other thinking you’re justified because of how evil the other side is. Ultimately, if you protest Brave New World because of Sabra… it is about on par with protesting a film because they had a dinner scene where people were eating meat.

As to my direct response to the film: If you want to see it, I would recommend watching HULK (with Edward Norton), THE ETERNALS (with Angelina Jolie), and Falcon & the Winter Soldier (on DisneyPlus) and you should be caught up with any backstory you would need.

After the film, I killed about a half hour before going to the next film: Love Hurts. I didn’t realize UNTIL this break between films that my double feature for the evening was
A Harrison Ford movie followed by a Ke Huy Quan movie… in other words… an evening with the stars of Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom. For the longest time I felt like I was going to be the only person in this screening. We even got to the first trailer before anyone else came into the theater. There were three couples that had seats in the rows behind me, and one couple in my row. The couple in my row were young, and I would have a lot more to say about the young woman of the pair but for her obvious age being considerably younger than I. She was in a Goth/Alt attire including a skirt that was far too short for day wearing. However, they both reeked of marijuana so badly that I could hear all the other patrons in the theater whispering about it. It was so bad, I started to get a headache!! It was awful. And, to add insult to injury, as the movie started, the young woman started taking flash photography of her/her date and from the angle of the phone, what her dress was supposed to be covering!!! They didn’t even make it through the whole film before they decided to leave; but so much the better for the headache they were giving me!!
LOVE HURTS is a movie not too dissimilar from Crime/Action/Romance mashups like “The Big Hit”… movies which I would typically classify as “enjoyable; good for a lazy Saturday morning flipping through channels and watching. Something fun to put on when you don’t want to focus too much or use your brain too hard. But nothing that I can see earning awards or having a big box office return. Heck, it’s why they’ve largely stopped making films like that; or force them into a Franchise like FAST FURIOUS. By trying to be funny and dramatic, action packed and romantic, they do what happens to most people who try to please everyone. They make a middling project that isn’t great but isn’t terrible. When you don’t ice the water and don’t boil the water, you should expect tepid.”

I got home after midnight and stayed up for another hour or two.

Saturday, I took as a mostly dead day. The snow had accumulated to the point that I would need to shovel or snowblow to do anything or go anywhere and after the week and the Speed Dating and the Long Night… I decided that Saturday was a good day to just stay in bed and float in and out of consciousness while letting The West Wing and House play on in the background. Which also meant I really didn’t eat anything on Saturday which I would like to think is good for my belly fat, but I understand why it is not. Starvation Models only work if you have the willpower and strength to force your body to commit. I do not. After not eating Saturday, I am certain to be eating on Sunday so I can have energy to DO things. That eating on Sunday after not eating on Saturday will get gobbled up by my fat cells thinking, “If food is insecure, we’re clinging to whatever fat we can to keep you alive, dude!” So… I get why it was stupid. But it is also why I need to go to the grocery store on Sunday. Along with… many other things I should do on Sunday. Not least of which is go to the office. SO… no excuses. I know what I have to do for Sunday! I just… don’t know if I’ll set an alarm or not.