Philanthropy Blues in Current Events

We are trying to do philanthropy but they have us doing big business. We haven’t been serving our kids because we have been serving numbers and that is the frustration we have been feeling. We didn’t have a label on it until I snapped and went on a tangent yesterday.

Our youth director wanted us to move mountains yesterday to attend a farewell party for her sister in operations who quit. We moved our program to the morning and I used the afternoon to clock out and go to a hockey game. Bev’s son wanted me to join them and I was not about to let a 10-year-old down. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Definitely enjoyed it more than that farewell party.

We were told that nobody from head office was invited. Us small folk are confused. I called it lateral violence. It is divisive. Then I asked the question, is it lateral violence? Who at head office is indigenous? Nobody. The only one who was indigenous just quit. I’ve met most of them at head office. They’re lovely. The one who quit is the only one who rubs me the wrong way. I don’t know what the office drama was but I am confident that the way she was being treated was in response to the way she treated them, kind of like my roommate, who has no self-awareness skills. She hates that people treat her like a child but she acts like a child.

My coordinator expressed concern over our significantly smaller budget for the next fiscal year. I called it a blessing in disguise. Now we can focus on our kids instead of focusing on that damn budget. We have everything we want and need and then some. We move into the new building that is under construction in April and it will be great. The kids love coming to the office anyway. We can take them out but they always want to come back to the office. It is their second home. We will have a commercial kitchen, we can just cook for them. Teach them how to cook in the process. It’s going to be great, I can’t wait.

Healing Shmealing
My anxiety symptoms broke through the CBD oil. The physical symptoms are very inconvenient. I have a follow-up with my family doctor in a couple of weeks so we will talk about that. I’m not interested in medication but I am interested in the results of the bloodwork.

I received a diagnosis the last time I saw him. A thyroid condition that isn’t a problem, yet. It is something that will be monitored. I’m a medical heretic, I did my own research. I know that disease is not caught it is created. An iodine deficiency is what I suspect is the culprit. 9 years vegan, can I say that it is going well? We are testing me for a lot of deficiencies. I’ll see how this diet stacks up. I have symptoms of other deficiencies as well, I just don’t know what they are. I suspect zinc. I’m a medical heretic, once I know what the deficiencies are, I will explore why I’m deficient with a holistic practitioner.

My gut health is the problem, we already know that. I wasn’t absorbing nutrients because of inflammation. The acid levels in my stomach is another problem. Protein synthesis can’t happen. I’m still taking the HCL pills. I was to take 5 with every meal and drop one once I started to experience heartburn. I’m at 4 and will be dropping to 3 soon I suspect. This is conditioning my body to produce enough acid. Long-term stress is the culprit here.

Some of my symptoms started to clear up while working on my gut health. My body is starting to fill out very fast as well. I’m on the right track. I need to learn how to manage long-term stress, however. Breathe and meditate is always the answer to that and every time someone says it I want to punch them in the throat. I want to do it with a blunt object whenever they start talking about controlling my thoughts. It’s like trying to give the ocean direction. I can’t will a tsunami away.