fb9 in idea barrages

Letter to my 15-year-old self: When someone’s ending every fourth sentence toward you with a comma and the word “friend”, it means they’re trying to be very nice about saying that they aren’t interested in you sexually but genuinely care for you platonic-ally.

If I owned a minor league sports team in Reading Pennsylvania, I would definitely call them “the Reading Comprehension”.

Does Ace Hardware understand that their name now means “someone uninterested in sex” colloquially? Do they understand how this re-contextualizes their jingle? Should they lean into it? The evolution of a language is FASCINATING.

Now that weed is legal in New York, of course people are leaning into edibles. Back when it was illegal, of course it had to spend time in the joint.

It’s about Jean Valjean’s charismatic hipster cousin Dean Valjean failing upwards through France’s bluegrass scene despite the revolution and it’s called Les Rizz.

With all these monsters and liars pretending to be virtuous men, I have to imagine the devil would be redundant, superfluous. If there was ever one at all, I’m sure he’s well-retired at this point. Who needs supernatural evil when you have more than enough pious hypocrites?

I’ve a problem putting in light bulbs, I’m so afraid of breaking ‘em, it takes me forever to use the right amount of pressure to make ‘em turn, I’m terrified of shattering ‘em in my big hands. Its definitely a metaphor for my ability to make romantic moves or push my writing too.

Get a toy from David Lynch’s DUNE and a toy from the Fantastic Four and have your childrens’ naughties and nices for the holidays overseen by the STING ON A THING. (You could also go with the WCW Sting if wrasslin is your lean.)