fb7 in idea barrages

So, apparently, Tic-Tac has a jingle called “Take A Ride On A Tic-Tac” and they had no idea that all us old Gen X cynics would immediately assume this was code for clitoral manipulation during cunnilingus. Like, ad people, have you even ever HAD sex?

The couple at the end of the bar has sent you a drink and a note. They are Reagan and Thatcher. The note says “we really like your vibe, would you like to destabilize an entire region just to sell more missiles with us?”

If Superman had worked in Schenectady instead of Metropolis, he would be able to dispel Mister Mxyzptlk by properly pronouncing “Niskayuna”.

Pretend you think her IUD is a fancy fishing lure, it’s fun!

Dating sites are all, to a site, the Facebook Marketplace of love and when you conceptualize them that way, you realize, they are the most depressing thing in all human creation.

I don’t follow wrestling much these days but there’s something heart-warming about how Rhea Ripley’s ocean of sapphic fans are okay with her character’s boyfriend, a greasy little goblin boy who adores her. They’re like “that’s the ONLY man she can be with, he’s cool”.

Whenever I see the act of benign micro-jingoism of the local police and fire engines escorting a high school sports team out of town to a big playoff game, I imagine a low-stake heist movie built around the idea of all emergency services being distracted. “THE SMALL BIG SCORE”.

A parody of TMBG’s “Doctor Worm” about Doctor Sleep would probably involve the lines “hello, I’m Doctor Sleep, good evening how are you, I’m Doctor Sleep, I’m interested in sleep, I’m not a real doctor but I actually sleep, I’m actually about to sleep, I’m about to go to sleep”.