Entry 32: Stolen Survey in Much Ado About Nothing

Credit Where Credit is Due: I stole this. One of the Prosebox writers on here that I respect and consider a friend (even have them on some Socials) put the work in to compile questions from Redditt (a site I almost never visit) so it is important that I credit her with the hard work. That being said, the survey entry was marked FRIENDS ONLY so I don’t think saying the name would be appropriate as I do not wish to “out them” in any way that they may not be comfortable with. So, I did not do the hard work of collecting this material, but I am happy to answer these questions.

What’s a small, seemingly insignificant decision you’ve made that ended up having a huge impact on your life?
Checking a website. When Nancy and I moved to the town where we would eventually divorce; I was curious to see if the town was large enough for a Community Theater. Less as a way of getting back into acting, and more as a way to think “What is there to do in a small area like this?” When I checked the website, I recognized the signs of Chinese Hackers and sent an e-mail to the person associated with the theater. I heard nothing back. In 2019, I attended AnimeIowa where I met Morgan Berry who said, “Say yes to everything.” and shortly thereafter, the person I had e-mailed a year prior invited me to do a show. That was my first acting experience since I quit in 2003. It was that acting experience that introduced me to Victoria, who recommended WCP Shakespeare in the Garden for a post-pandemic audition. Getting into that show inspired me to keep auditioning in the area and eventually move out here. So.... just me deciding to check that website… resulted in me changing jobs, moving to a different town… and all the changes that come with that dramatic shift.

If you could meet your mother when she was a child. What would you say?
“Play on.” Music is always going to be part of your life and that’s something to celebrate and cherish.

Reddit users 30 yrs old and over: What is the hardest part about getting older?
This is more specific to Millennials and Younger: don’t let the old signposts make any difference to you. People will still try to hold you to what no longer works- You’re 25 and don’t have a career yet? You’re 30 and unmarried? WHO CARES- it’s struggle enough to survive. I think, for me, that’s a hard part these days- though it is my own damned culture, history, and programming doing it. At 40, I just… I should have had a kid by now. I should have a 5 year old and a 7 year old and… I struggle with letting things like that go.

Reddit users 30 yrs old and over… What is the best part about getting older?
The best part about getting older, if you’re healthy enough, is that you can dictate your own destinations. If I wake up at 3 a.m. and I can’t sleep, I have the choice of what to do about it. I can try to go back to sleep, I can play video games, I can go into work, I can take a walk… and that’s true throughout the day. Obviously, one has to balance Freedom and Responsibility… but you really do get to set a lot more of your own course as an adult and that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

People above 35, what is your regret?
Not listening to the neon signs. Jim Carrey specifically said, from watching his father, “You can fail at what you don’t love.” And proceeded to say that if you can fail at doing something you love and you can fail at doing something you don’t love… why would you ever let FAILURE control you? But I knew what I wanted in life. I wanted two things more than anything else in the world… and I gave up one in an attempt to pursue the other… and wound up with neither. My regret, as ever, is that I didn’t even think to put myself first, even in my own life. And a lot of the bad things in my existence come from that.

How should you spend your time in your 20’s?
There is no time on earth more important to dedicate to growth. You don’t have to specialize right away, nor do you have to do anything specific… but your 20s is when you should be trying to learn as much as you can about yourself, your community, life, everything. Even if you were on your own since 16- your 20s is the time when your brain finally starts to level out and you can see WHO you are and investigate WHAT you want. Pursue knowledge, pursue experience.

What would you do if you got $5000 a month for the rest of your life for free?
If I knew that I could rely on a stipend of $5,000 per month for the rest of my life… I wouldn’t penny pinch on housing stuff. I’d first save up a bit, then pay someone to give the house an earnest once over on everything to repair. After repairing the house, I would sign up for some healthy eating and healthy exercise programs to get my body back to where I would want it. Then I would divest. I would actually play the stocks a little to build up some passive income and eventually turn that passive income into a Local Theater Trust to support the spaces and the people a bit.

What was free when you were a kid that costs money now?
I know this is an old whinge but WORD PROCESSOR! Back when the computers first came out Windows succeeded because it was an interface that took PCs from Geek Green Print to Easy At Home Access. A big part of that was the word processor because… before: You bought the typewriter, the ink, and the paper. For the computer to compete, they couldn’t add an additional charge so the Word Processor was free because you bought the printer, the ink, and paper. Now? Mother fucker. You need an actual subscription to use the damned thing. It isn’t even a “buy this, done”; you have to keep giving a company money so that you can type something, for God’s sake.

What do people think is dead, but isn’t?
Physical Media. I know that companies are desperately trying to kill this and too many are succeeding. But even people in these industries are trying to preach why Physical Media is important. And both as a collector and a lawyer- WE DO NOT WANT PHYSICAL MEDIA TO GO AWAY! The number of reasons for that is… vast. First and foremost: did you know on original release versions of The Little Mermaid, the priest marrying the couple at the end “has a boner”? The animator said it was the Priest’s knee, the community tittered at the idea of it being a boner… but the digital stream and all recent copies have the “offending bulge” entirely removed. So NO PHYSICAL MEDIA allows for a company to alter the product even after you’ve bought it. Another example? Does anyone remember going to see the movie Zootopia ever? Because on Disney+, that movie doesn’t exist. I think you’re either thinking of the TV Show “Zootopia” or the movie “Zootropolis”. That isn’t Mandela Effect, Disney+ straight up changed the name of the movie on Streaming. While we’re in the Disney+ area, let’s bring up Spider-Man content! You can watch all of Tobey Maguire’s trilogy, Andrew Garfield’s two, and… only TWO of Tom Holland’s Spider-Man movies. You can’t watch “No Way Home”. Does Sony have it? Nope. Does Netflix? Nope. But while we’re here… does Disney+ or Netflix have Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse? NOPE. I remember watching Into the Spider-verse on Netflix… they don’t have it anymore. SO if you want to watch something… and like it… you NEED the physical media version to make sure you have access to it when YOU want it.

What do you dislike about today’s Internet? And what do you miss about the old Internet?
I got the internet for Christmas when it was baby brand new and do you know what I reveled in? Star Wars Forums, Fan Pages, and the like. Do you know what those spaces were? Hand crafted bonfires lovingly constructed by fans where you could be reading about the struggles on Kashyyyk, see a blue phrase you didn’t know, click on it, and then be reading about Mallatobuck and Lumpawarrump. And the fans would be approachable and helpful with forums like “You don’t need to read Heir to the Empire first, but here’s why you should” or “The X-Wing Trilogy proves Wedge Antilles should have had more screen time!” It wasn’t the dumpster fire the internet is now. It wasn’t “Disney Woke Killing Star Wars” bullshit. It wasn’t “Pushing DEI in a Galaxy Far Far Away” hate speech. It wasn’t “Libs Calling Trump The Empire Don’t Know Shit” with millions of up votes. THAT is what I so dearly miss about the old Internet. I miss when Geeks owned the space and made it about geeking out. Now, the toxic cultures have infested every inch of everywhere. And where we once had Geeks in Brown Robes ushering us to knowledge; we now have Dude Bros and Toxic Fandom making it difficult to even say you like something without it painting you as a horrible person.

What just quietly disappeared?
I know that in the Mid-west we are the last ones to hold on to it, but even around here manners and consideration. Even up to about 2015, it was not uncommon for people to hold the doors open for others, say “thank you”, use the word “please”… just exist in a world on a base level of “I treat others with respect”. I saw it take a HUGE hit in 2016 and people turned into “HE’s in charge, so I can be however i want!” and “allowed themselves” to be as selfish as they had always wanted. But it didn’t disappear entirely until COVID. After the Pandemic, you could kind of tell… people forgot what it was like operating in a society where being considerate of others is just a decent default so that we can all get through our days. I know I have a unique glimpse into this considering my job. But it isn’t on a criminal level, necessarily. I’m not saying Assaults skyrocketed (nor am I saying they did not). But I did see a lot more things that USED TO BE “cost of doing business” now become “why won’t the cops intervene?!” Shit like, and I wish I were kidding, “I called the police and they won’t do anything!” K… about what? “My neighbors’ children are always shouting and screaming and yelling at around 4:00 and it is intolerable.” SO… kids getting home from school… are noisy. And you want the police to intervene? WHAT THE FUCK

What is a taboo subject that should be talked about more?
Genuine feelings regarding race and class. We’ve developed decades worth of euphemisms and polite ways of getting around the direct discussion… but creating plausible deniability just made it so less intelligent people didn’t know what they were doing. See Also: CRT. I was a fucking law student- I know exactly what CRT is and the Politicians who went after it couldn’t define it! Because they weren’t attacking “A specific college-level program often taught in law schools that addresses how systemic elements may be impacted or formed regarding race; both historically and in present day.” And instead actively used the CRT Boogeyman to actually ban teaching American History. Because they got away with “CRT Bad. CRT means teaching about race AT ALL” they could then ban schools from teaching about Ruby Bridges, Malcom X, Frederick Douglass, Gabriel Prosser, Nat Turner, Black Wallstreet, and SO MUCH MORE. I would MUCH RATHER MUCH RATHER someone just drop the bullshit, lean into the taboo, and just say, “I don’t like black people and I don’t want white children being taught black history.” SAY THAT. Because the other way? You’re still saying that… but you sound more stupid… which somehow picks up more followers somehow?!?!

What is the worst advice you’ve ever received in your life?
“Happy Wife, Happy Life” Honestly. And frankly, by the time I’d heard that, I was already pretty extremely programmed on the “Love means Serving Others” train. And that is why I have been in a physically abusive relationship, sexually abusive relationship, emotionally abusive relationship, and stuck it out in my marriage years after it became evident that my wife wasn’t interested in a relationship. If all of your energy is based on “I need to make this other person happy. I need to please this other person. I need to make sure this other person is comfortable and taken care of” does the excessive burn out and constant feelings of depression start to make sense? If you’re giving everything and receiving nothing does that sound like a happy life??

What’s the most “I’m turning into my parents” moment for you?
It gets really creepy sometimes when I’m arguing in Court and suddenly I have this very “out of body” experience where I am watching my gestures and thinking, “That’s Dad. That’s what Dad does when he argues a point like this. YIKES!“

What is a weird smell you enjoy?
I don’t think it is fair to call it a weird smell but the wood of a music instrument; the smell of grease paint and of old wooden theater boards. The smells of performance.

What item has degraded in quality in the past 10 years?
Reality Itself? I mean… 10 years ago we were discussing Birdman and Big Hero 6 while ignoring Donald Trump’s Ross Perot-esque bid for the White House.

What’s the worst thing about how they make new cars now?
I’m using the same answer but using my own words so as not to literally steal:
Screens instead of buttons. IF YOU CANNOT SUCCESFULLY AND QUICKLY DO SOMETHING WITHOUT LOOKING than that is a terminal failure of vehicle design.

What’s a disproven parenting myth that way too many people still believe?
“Spare the rod, spoil the child” Now, I will argue the phrase itself is not antiquated to the point of useless… but how too many (especially Boomer-aged) people use it, it is disproven bullshit. IF we agree that “spare the rod, spoil the child” is strictly “There should be consequences, sometimes negative ones, for a child’s behavior” then FINE. I’m on board. It is when people (and so many still do) say “That means you have to hit your kids or they’ll turn into spoiled monsters.” CUZ… we need balance. You cannot have these hippie dippy parents that say, “I’ll never raise my voice to my child. Nothing they do is bad or wrong. They are just exploring their world and learning for themselves.” NO. Bad. I hit you with rolled up newspaper. Sometimes, yes even your special miracle child, needs to be told to sit down, shut up, and listen to other people! BUT the idea of “You talked back to me, so I slap your face”?? Yeah. Massively disproven as “effective” because even BEST CASE scenario? Best Case Scenario: Your child learns. If they talk back to you, you will physically strike them. NOW they don’t want to talk to you at all, and may have significant and deep problems finding or maintaining a healthy relationship because they’ve internalized that speaking up for themselves results in a physical attack. Or, y’know, you’ve done a really good job for preparing them to be compliant Domestic Abuse victims.

What did you think was a “weird quirk” you had that turned out to be a symptom of a mental/physical health issue?
If I were using euphemisms, I’d say “severe empathy.” Or what was often called “So emotional, you have to be gay, dude.” Now… it could be ADHD, it could be ASD… both are things people have suggested I likely have. But even just the Fibromyalgia makes it make sense. When you are constantly battling to ignore or minimize your own pain… seeing it in others gets to you. I was in terrible physical pain all the time, but had gotten used to it to the point of constantly sublimating it. So, when someone else was in pain? I would swoop in and sit with them, cry with them, be angry with them… I’d validate their emotion and feel it with them… which may have even been me “working on Masking behaviors” so… lots of options.

What does a person want at seventeen that they don’t want at thirty-five?
I don’t know what people want when they turn 17 these days. When I turned 17? I had an honestly beautiful (if tragic) date with Buffy and all I wanted was to know that I would have something like that in my life going forward. Which… as that is still very much THE THING I wanted at 35 (and 40)… I am not an acceptable example.

What’s something that’s actually BETTER than 20 years before?
Even despite their attempts to attack or minimize it, I would honestly say “Our ability to organize”. Even in Countries where the government can shut down the internet nation wide, we still get more access online, from the news, through social media… everywhere to what is happening. Now, we aren’t using it to organize well. We aren’t using it to do things that make a positive difference. But very sincerely… do you think MAGA would have succeeded the way it did in 2024 without the tools that make organizing easier? Lie Constantly, Fill the Space with Fiction, Use Anger, Generate Fear… literally NO factual campaign had a chance at that… unless it had also been appropriately using the levers of organization for as long. That’s one of those things that still gets argued. Leftists are still saying “We lost because Kamala wasn’t far enough left” which… doesn’t exactly jive with research polling. The two biggest issues? Harris had less than 100 days to mount and run a Campaign… and she was facing someone who quite literally had not stopped giving “Presidential Rallies” since 2020. SO… Harris doing as well as she did is big in that comparison. Campaign of Less than 100 Days versus Campaign of More than 45 Months; to pull the numbers she did shows that have a better ability to organize NOW then we did in 2005. Of course the other thing that killed Harris? The ineffably stupid quality of people who have been coming out of the woodwork for the last few weeks. “Wait! He isn’t reducing prices?! He lied!” And we told you he had. “I just saw an article listing all of the Project 2025 things Trump has implemented already. He said he wasn’t affiliated with them!” And we spent a long time telling you that he was lying to you.

What technology did 10 year-old you think would already exist by now?
I was hopeful and loved science fiction… I didn’t think that we would have actual time machines by this point, but I thought our understanding of time would have grown by leaps and bounds. Most nuanced growth in that area since 1994 is to say, “we think gravity plays a part now”

What happened to the people who bullied you, and have you forgiven them?
I haven’t actually seen my bullies since around College years. And back then, the biggest jerk ass turned out to be our waiter during a family luncheon. And honestly- yeah, I forgive him. Even though he wouldn’t ask or care. STORY TIME: My mom was always one of those people trying to preach “be everyone’s friend” which is how I was somewhat forced into a sleepover with a kid struggling with his sexuality who kept demanding I sleep in his bed with him. Going home and telling my mom, “I don’t want to hang out with him. He’s weird.” my mom took to mean I was being a rude little boy ostracizing someone for being different. SO when it came to me crying because of bullies… the lesson was, “What do you think is going so wrong in their life, that they need to react in this manner?” SO, I knew even while I was being bullied why the very fat, intellectually dim, dirt poor bully was being an asshole to me. But seeing him as a waiter… still heavily overweight, still not very bright, trying his hardest to earn some money… it was easy to forgive. Because if I’d had to grow up like he had… I can’t say that I wouldn’t have vented my anger on other people in some way myself.

What has a 100% chance of happening in the next 50 years?
At least 90% of everyone who is presently in Congress will be dead. Though, considering my own Senator is 91, I would expect that death to happen a little sooner

At what age did you finally feel like a real adult?
I do not presently feel like a real adult (see also, previous question up way above) but in a grieving way… I felt most like an adult surrounding the divorce. Like… I had to acknowledge that nothing could fix the marriage and I had to be a responsible adult for both of our sakes. No sense making us both live in misery just because we promised we would. Being responsible and saying, “I’m not going to sit here and throw a tantrum that you didn’t keep your promise. I am going to release us both from the promise and we’ll see what happens.” And… while I don’t think I’m as better off from that decision as I would like to be.... I think the decision allowed both of us to become a little more “adult like.” With her, despite falling back on her serial monogamy, waiting for a man to take care of her ways… a woman that used to have an absolute freak out over the idea of permanently living outside of Iowa was able to swallow that and move to the East Coast. That’s growth. With me, despite certainly not being thrilled with the bloody situation, I have established that I am able and capable of living life without a partner, despite an upbringing clearly and repeatedly instilling in me the importance of having a spouse.

You receive an offer of 1 billion dollars but you lose 1 body part, what body part will you be sacrificing?
This is open too wide and could easily be gamed. The specifics would need to be significantly negotiated; “Does hair count? If not hair vague, does Head Hair? Or ALL hair? Or does it need to be fleshy, like a pinky toe? Or does it have to be organ based like an appendix? Can I be so crass as to say 100 pounds of fat? I mean… I would be willing to lose quite a lot in exchange, but I’m going to try to get the base exchange rate as I can.

What is a fast food opinion you have and is a hill that you will die on?
It doesn’t matter how fancy you want to seem, if you are Fast Food Drive Through - your entire model is “food that is bad for you” and the general agreement of modern life is that “food that is bad for you” is cheaper than “food that is good for you”. If I can get Food That Is Good For Me for $11, there’s no fucking reason Burger King or Taco Johns should be charging me $17 for their greasy fatty crap ever.

What is something that is extremely inappropriate but kids still watch it without parents’ permission/marketed towards kids?
Children have more access to more things now than ever before. And even with the best parent locks and Nanny Programs, these kids are Digital Natives and can work around most of what we can come up with. Whereas we would sneak to watch a cable edit of Terminator 2 because it was R; kids can scroll up a beheading or 2 Girls 1 Cup. As Project 2025 attempts in earnest to illegalize pornography, this is their only strong or acceptable argument. A child online can access porn with the ease that we once accessed comic books. Now, obviously, I’m not in favor of any blanket banning of content online in most respects… but the truth is the truth.

What industry “secret” do you know that most people don’t?
Attitude is everything. If you are contrite and direct about your concerns, a Criminal Prosecutor is more likely to work with you to find ways of handling your situation. If you are an asshole who seeks to make problems, a Criminal Prosecutor is more likely to work against you and will find ways of handling your situation that you won’t like.

Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?
Gosh, the Cracked response from this Survey’s Originator was brilliant and spot on and as a former Cracked Fan, 100% right! I struggle with a similar answer and mine will not be as good; but a lot of people would say Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat was largely built on the back of its deep lore, interesting characters, and gore-fueled Fatalities. Because of that, you would have all sorts of wild and wacky “You split them in half, ripped out their trachea, and used it as a pan flute. But they’re back in the next game… because… The Netherrealm!” And that WAS FINE. But with the new series? They’re leaning especially hard on “Multi-Verse!” So that… Scorpion is now not a demon, never has been a demon, and (from the looks of things) never will be a demon… in this timeline. But we’ll see OTHER timeline Scorpion sometimes and he was a demon. So, best of both worlds! Except… no it isn’t. You fundamentally modified an incredibly popular character that was one of your FLAGSHIP characters, changed everything about him, and get to say “Remember when he was awesome” via multiverse bullshit every once in a while.

What company will go out of business in the next 10 years?
Well, if (and this seems incredibly likely) we continue this “Consolidation is perfectly acceptable” track… I daresay most will as they will all be consolidated further and further. My father got a front row on that with food. When he started, there were 60 or 70 different customers trying to get into grocery stores… there are now 4 or 6. Because there are only 4 or 6 big corporations who control ALL FOOD in this country. And that… is happening… to most industries.

What is something that smells great but isn’t perfume?
Gonna go ahead and reiterate my Art Wood answer from above

What is the item that you have owned for the longest time?
Oh, gosh- that is a tough one! It honestly is probably the Bible my late “Uncle” Craig gave me for Confirmation! I mean… I’ve had that since 1997!

What pricey item did you buy and never regretted it?
At this point, honestly, my giant TV. I bought a brilliant Surround Sound/TV/Entertainment System literally designed for the house in IF. Moving it to here was.... unfortunate for many reasons. But I’ve never regretted getting a TV this big.

What seems harmless but is actually incredibly dangerous?
Toxic Confidence… also called Dunning-Kruger. People think “Folks being confident or not confident isn’t that big a deal” and… folks? It’s… it’s really fucking dangerous.

Bernie Sanders is trying to pass a bill that allows a 32 hours work week and no loss in pay. If you have three days off, how would you feel about that and what would you do?
Sincerely, I think a lot of places should do this with the added “rotational coverage” concept. Like… we know a certain party is going to want “all the poors” to work 180 hour weeks for dirt pay… but considering the TECH that we actually have and everything else- we should be doing the opposite. Every business is open 7 days a week, a full work week is 32 hours. Instead of making 2 people work every day and burn themselves out, you could actually hire more people- and I know, folks will swoop in and say “But we already have a problem where nobody wants to work” but that’s just it. Nobody wants to make shit pay, be expected to sell their soul, and not get breaks/benefits/treated like a person. Maybe we stop treating the Working Class like irritating indentured servants and see if that makes a difference?!
NOW- what would I do with a promised 3 day weekend EVERY week? 1 Day for Errands, 1 Day for Recuperation, 1 Day for Enjoyment.

What’s a small habit you’ve adopted that significantly improved your life?
I wish I had a good answer for this but I don’t really. I am hoping it will be “meal supplements” or “daily multivitamin” but at this point - who the hell knows?

What is something that people “base their whole personality around”?
I’m going to go back to an earlier answer because it’s been true but has become A LOT WORSE: fandoms. There once was a time where you could say, “I’m a marvel fan” and some of the nerds around would be down to play the Marvel Super Heroes Game (a game I still love and was the ONLY positive part of Kids West!) But that shifted to “No you’re not! You’ve got a Batman notebook, poser!” and then that shifted to “Oh my God, no. You can’t say you’re a marvel fan and actually like Captain Falcon! Rogers, Bucky, or get the fuck out!”

What are some things people say they want to happen, but would actually be terrible?
So, my father STILL says shit like
“I should be in charge of who the government kills” and
“Fucking DEI. God damned illegal immigrants” and
“Liberals don’t even like this Country, fuck ‘em”
SO… even though we’re spiraling towards it right now? Far Right Consolidation of Power to the angriest whitest oldest people would be VERY FUCKING TERRIBLE