Phase Two: Re-enter Society in Hello

Once the holidays are over, find my purpose again.

I’ve gotten off the booze.
239 Days
It took a stint in both in and out patient rehab and jail.

I know I keep going on and on about this…

Life changing.
Vigilance.

No more waking up at 3 AM, shirtless, going to piss in the downstairs bathroom. Muttering to myself that I was in a deep sleep and only have an hour and a half till it’s breakfast.

No more crashing at 3 AM, out of my mind intoxicated…

I need the daily affirmation, be the change you want to be. Be excited, be be excited…heh…

I’m still trying to “fix” myself as best as I can.

Today was good. In a good mood. Talkative at both banks, charmed the tellers. Engaged the cashier at the grocery store on her earrings and turquoise ring. Got a few genuine laughs. Act human.

Truth is I’m paranoid at times on the road now. I have a record. I fear the next time I interact with law enforcement. All the stuff I used to do by myself like driving around aimlessly I’m too iffy to do. I’ll chauffeur people around. I’ll go pay a bill or do banking and the like. But then I head straight home.

Good thing is I’ve not been inside my head too much. I’ve developed a strong network of friends I can reach out to now. It started with three and has only grown. I am thankful for that this year.