Phoenix Moon in Current Events

I definitely feel like I am seventeen again. At this moment. I have to go face the music and go to class. It feels like the first day of school which is what every day felt like back when my social anxiety was at its worst. It was at its worst in high school. I’ll be fine. I am the worst student ever. I have to make up a test and I have yet to hand in a single assignment or lab for my chem class. I have Thursday off which will be my dedicated time for that. I don’t have to be a nervous wreck. I’m not in danger. The blindspot in my consciousness does not know this, of course. I don’t want this unsightedness in my psyche to act like sightedness, I can’t let it win again.

Thursday morning I have my consultation with the CBT therapist. I wish everything could just happen on my own time. Of course, nothing would actually happen then. What am I going to say to Bev next time I see her? Remember that book you recommended to me? It retraumatized me. I almost dropped out of school and now I’m in therapy. I’ll say it satirically, this is a blessing in disguise and she will assure that.

I’m either going to have a breakdown or a breakthrough. That’s where I’m at. My money is on breakthrough.

I’m going to go ahead and attribute this saga to the full moon in Scorpio. In my birth chart, my moon is in Scorpio. I have a lot of Scorpio in my chart. The true power of Scorpio is death & rebirth. It used to be depicted with a phoenix, or eagle. Halfway through an eagle’s life, their talons and beaks become too dull to survive. They have to tear off their talons and then smash off their beaks against a rock so that they can grow them back sharper than ever.

Alright, time to face the music.