New Nightmare in anticlimatic

  • April 2, 2024, 7:12 p.m.
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  • Public

First dream in a long time the other night.

Bit of a nightmare, to boot.
Didn’t realize how much I missed dreams.
Might be time to give up the inhibitors.

In the dream I was at a party of some kind, mid way up a high rise. Ties and suits. Think christmas party from Die Hard kind of scene. My brother Matt was there, and it was he I was looking at- smiling and laughing- when I noticed the water out the window behind him. It was the Ocean, and a giant tidal wave was approaching slowly from the distance. I felt a sudden bite of fear and paused the conversation to direct people’s attention outside. They beheld, and took it seriously. I opened the balcony doors and walked out to greet it while people behind me watched. The wave never crested. It was just like a passing swell you might enjoy at the beach on windy days if you wade out beyond the breakers. It washed over the building at a level several stories up, but just a few inches over my head. I felt myself lifted off of my feet- threatening for a moment to wash me away- then set me right back down on the balcony as it washed over and receded.

I landed and crouched down on one knee, focused in terror on my thoughts and the building. It was swaying and groaning and shuddering in the wake of the water. I knew there was a very real chance the whole thing would pancake down on me Twin Towers style, and I best make my peace with life then and there and pick something nice to think about.

I think I woke up before I knew whether or not anything was going to happen.

It dawned on me today that when we reach middle age exactly half of everyone around when we got here has gone on ahead of us.


When it snows heavily, like it’s doing right now, my brain always teleports me to the big puzzle table around the Holidays at my Grandma-down-the-street’s house, sitting in the lamp and TV and twinkling vintage holiday decoration lighting looking at the snow fall heavy out the large window. Have to head home soon, maybe take a bath, school tomorrow.

Anticipate the smell of the winter evening.
Watch the snow fall and fall.

Last updated April 02, 2024

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