Ups and downs in Dear John

I’m craving a bit of stability. I feel like it’s a bit all or nothing. Good days are so good, bad days are bad. Bad days mean barely any contact, long silences, messages unanswered, no phone call before bedtime.

When you work at chester, you’re in such a rush in the morning you can’t make two minutes to message me good morning. You have no signal while you’re there. You message me late, when you get home, then have tea and go to sleep before we can even have a chat.

Yesterday, you messaged me at 6am to tell me you were still on the sofa from the night before, then nothing until you messaged me mid afternoon to tell me you were home and in bed with a migraine.

Then nothing until this morning. I’ve had a few cursory messages on and off, no particular response to my message saying it would be nice to see you before I have to work the next three days. No message responding to my message asking if you fancy a chat cos we haven’t spoken properly in three days.

You keep saying you don’t want to be selfish, and I know it’s not intentional, but sometimes you are anyway. Sometimes it feels like you don’t think about me at all.

It worries me that it doesn’t seem to bother you. It worries me that you’re so incredibly happy on your own sometimes that I wonder what you’re doing with me.

Xx