Christmas is over, Blizzard!! in Since OD is shutting down....

My daughter bugged and bugged to open all her gifts yesterday. She got so much stuff and I’m definitely grateful for that. It started snowing last night and today it’s just a blizzard. Roads are closed and most places are as well. I really wanted to get some stuff from the store but it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow. People on Facebook are saying it’s pretty drifted in some spots. I definitely don’t want to risk getting stuck with my daughter.

I’m glad that we finally got snow, but I wish it would have been like this yesterday since we were stuck here anyways. Hopefully the wind will go down later and the roads will be plowed so we can get out tomorrow. It’s crazy that the winters have been so mild for the last 3 years. I don’t even know if they are trying to delivery mail today.

Still pretty stressed about bills and what not but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m going to keep trying to find something within school hours but that’s a worry too because I don’t know if I’ll have Summer childcare or not. I also don’t want to put my kid in daycare again. The stress just doesn’t stop.

We never did hear anything more about Christmas gifts. It still makes me very angry that my brother keeps giving this person the time a day and at some point, I may tell him that I’m going to quit speaking to him until he decides to block him. I just want to live my life as peacefully as I can and not worry about any more drama. Life is hard enough without the added aggravation. My brother just has this thing about giving him the benefit of the doubt but it’s been almost 7 years of the same shit.

He went and visited at school the week before Thanksgiving and hasn’t been back. I still believe that it’s because I didn’t react. The fact that he even asked my brother if that made me mad just proves my point that it was his intent. I like knowing it fries his asshole that I won’t react whatsoever. He needs to just go away. If any involvement is just to get me triggered, he shouldn’t be around at all. He makes it easy for me to cut him out of the equation. If any contact isn’t just to see his child, it’s to make me angry than he needs to fuck off. I wish my brother would just block him. Make it clear that he can either go get a court order or go away.

It took a lot of tears, anger, and sleepless nights for me to get to where I’m at and I like not being in a dark place anymore. I still have my moments but the shit definitely doesn’t get to me like it did. I have definitely found my acceptance. I get down just like everyone else but I have also learned how to get back out of it and go about my day. Life is just too short to keep dealing with things that you know are going to make you mad.

So my kid had a laptop that she got before she started Kindergarten. She’s played with it for about a week and now it won’t turn on. I’ve left it plugged in, I’ve tried to do a hard reboot and it’s shot. I know I’ve heard her pounding on it and I’ve found it soaking wet from stuff getting spilled so now she just won’t have a laptop. I don’t even know how many phones and tablets she’s broke and now a fucking laptop. I’m seriously over it today. We also haven’t left the house in 3 days and I’m starting to lose my mind. I can’t afford to buy another laptop so she just won’t have one. I get so fucking pissed because growing up, I didn’t have a fucking thing and my daughter has EVERYTHING a kid could ever want and has to break it.

I just hope that we’re going to be able to leave the house tomorrow. It’s supposed to be warmer so hopefully the snow will be melted, the wind will go down, and we can get to the fucking store. We still have 6 fucking days of this god awful break and then we can get back to being around other people. I just fucking hate Christmas break because all we do is sit here by ourselves. I’m trying so hard to stay positive but being in my head all day isn’t healthy. I’m getting more and more stressed by the day.

My brother took us to the store so I could get some stuff. The wind is starting to taper off and it should be warm enough to melt the snow tomorrow. It was so nice to get out of the house. I did one of my online things for my job. I think I’m about done. I’m so tired of dealing with it and definitely ready for it to be over. I’ve since cleaned up my house and made tacos for dinner.