Relapse/Collapse in Current Events
- Nov. 14, 2023, 6:13 p.m.
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- Public
I relapsed on every level. Am I going to be sulky about it? Absolutely. I’m throwing myself a pity party.
I’m being facetious. I don’t want to take myself too seriously but I do need to take myself seriously enough. I procrastinated to death on this lab I had to do that I don’t even know how to do yet. I’ll hand it in late on Thursday. I didn’t want to face the music. This also means that I have fallen behind on the new unit we just started. I’m weak.
I didn’t last the whole week on keto, I caved today. First thing after my nap. I just need better meal planning next time. I fell short by two days. Big whoop. I’m weak.
Then there is the NoFap… but I didn’t have that malfunction I mentioned before. Still, shame on me. Back to square one. I’m weak.
We just had a new moon in Scorpio and I wasn’t paying attention. My mind is on the right things. Just trying to will myself there. I’m at least pondering about what I need. The bottom line, doing things my way will not work. I can’t fix a problem with the same mind that created it. I should be reaching out for help. For guidance. I don’t even know where to start. I’m weak.
What does my body need? I have a few health concerns. I could try harder to find a naturopath.
What does my mind need? This I don’t know where to begin. Do I lose myself in self-help again? I didn’t get much from the counsellor I last saw. I think he learned more from me, honestly.
What does my soul need? Twin flame? Barf!
What do I need? That is the question.
My chem class needs me to get my life right and study already… so on with it then.
Zampano ⋅ November 15, 2023
Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing. It's Yogic philosophy. We invent a carrot on the end of a stick. We chase the carrot. It helps motivate us, and comforts us. During those dull times at work you may have a Tv show at home waiting for you. Sometimes, the thought of having coffee gets me out of bed, but when I am up I don't even feel like I need it anymore. It was just me inventing a carrot to chase. The idea is to remove the carrot and Be. That is a opposed to a state of a constant pursuit of something, and just being there, or a state of "I have arrived". That's not to say you quit working-out, or doing school work; you just stay present in the gym, or at the desk. Instead of thoughts like "I am going to the gym. I am going to the gym". And upon arriving at the gym you begin thinking about what you need to do after the gym.
TL Zampano ⋅ November 15, 2023
Sounds heavenly