Don't Think, Just Pull the Pin in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I know it’s been a while considering I was in a good rhythm for a while, but I did something that had huge consequences and I did not really think about it in advance which caused me to spend almost a month playing catch-up to the whole situation.

When last I updated, I had kind of patched things up with Ark and decided to be more selective about my nights out with Bane. One thing that did happen that I didn’t write about was that I had seen an advertisement for an open position at my university. Now, in Thailand, high schools are often attached to universities, temples or government entities. The first school I taught at was attached to a private university focusing on churning out Executive Level Business graduates, which is obvious as it’s owned and run by the largest corporation in Thailand (which is one of the main reasons I left). Currently, I teach at the high school at one of the universities.

Now, something I’ve learned as I get older is to adjust my goals. When kids are young, our dreams are fairly innocent… “I want to be an astronaut!” Yes, but what are the requirements for being an astronaut? You have to have some kind of STEM background, like engineering, astronomy or something equally hard. If you aren’t good at math, you have to revise that dream a bit because it will just keep you in heartache.

I’ve had to revise my dreams a few times. But I always keep my eye on the developments in those fields in case I have a shot.

The Faculty of Humanities at my school posted an opening for an English teacher position. By the time I found it, the date for submitting your resume had passed two-days prior, so I sent through a half-assed email with my resume and information attached just as an afterthought.

However, I got a response inviting me to interview. I was very surprised and kind of conflicted about the whole thing. We’re only halfway the school year and I started asking a few close colleagues, both in Thailand and in America about whether or not I should go through with the whole thing. The truth is, in general, I haven’t had the credentials required to teach at the University level, but the advertisement listed the requirements at exactly my level, hence why I applied.

As I spoke with people, I got reassurance that I should just follow through with the interview because at the very least it will give me a glimpse into the process at the University, I can ask questions about the details of a position that people don’t really get to ask, and then I can just continue my current job. So with that in mind, I prepared for the interview and the demonstration lesson they asked me to prepare.

Now, the day of the interview and demonstration happened to fall on my busiest day. I taught 6 hours straight that day and then had to rush across campus to do the interview and demo lesson.

Frankly, it was probably one of the worst interviews I’ve ever given. I was exhausted, my demo lesson was poorly done and not at all at the standards I usually teach at (this was mostly due to my procrastination and having only had a small snippet of material to use as a basis for the lesson). However, the interview that was scheduled for only 30 minutes ended up lasting an hour and a half.

But I did get to ask my questions, and two of them were very important.

One of the reasons I even applied for the job at all is because I am running out of time on my teaching license for high school here in Thailand. Unless I enroll in a Master’s program within the next six months, I would have to leave Thailand in the next year. Now, this is only if I teach in a government regulated school. I could go teach at one of those private English centers in a mall or a fancy private school and not have this problem. As it turns out, I am not required to have that teaching license at the University level.

Within 36 hours of the interview, I had been offered the position, much to my surprise. The semester was to start just over a month from the day I got the offer, and I wrestled with accepting the position for a few hours. I knew that if I were going to take it, I’d have to let the current school know ASAP so that they could find someone within that month period (a three week break from classes was just starting the next Monday, and I got the offer on a Friday).

So without much time, I decided to take the job.

My boss at the high school was not thrilled with me leaving in the middle of the school year, and practically told me that my last day was that day, no notice, just get out. I politely offered to do a few more days, mostly to clean up paperwork and grading so that the new teacher would be able to take over more easily. This meant that that was my last day with my students, and I wouldn’t even have a chance to tell my morning classes good-bye.

That is one of the hardest days I’ve ever had. When the day was over, I went down to one of the benches across from the school and just wept for 20 minutes. I truly loved and adored my students, leaving them in the middle was so difficult and I still get very emotional when I think about how I don’t get to see them every day.

That night when I got home, I received an email thanking me for accepting the position and asking where I was going to get my visa.

That’s when I realized, I had just detonated a grenade and destroyed my entire life. Not only am I leaving this job, but I have to leave the country immediately after my last day of work. Thank God I negotiated those few extra days because now I have to cancel my birthday party and figure out where I’m going to go to re-enter the country to start a new job.

Needless to say, I had to put my Halloween costume in storage, cancel all the preparations I made for my 40th birthday party, and plan a trip. So the day I turned 40, I was not celebrating, I was on a train to Laos to be able return to the country. My paycheck came that day, greatly reduced, and it will be the last paycheck I receive until January 1, 2024 because my contract date doesn’t start until December.

Tomorrow I pick up my text books, sign the contract and get the keys to my own private office. Deyn offered to throw me a belated birthday party, but I probably won’t get to that until January.

So this is 40.