Unload in Current Events

[TMI WARNING]

My coffee enema today was rough. It was supposed to be quick enough but it turned into a 4 hour ordeal. Menacing to say the least. I don’t think I’ve ever had that much matter come out. Prior to doing it, I looked at how bloated I was in the mirror. My stomach has been a mess all week. Since the weekend, really. It didn’t help that I ate 30 spring rolls for dinner the other day. As well as my two worst enemies. Green lentils from my roommate’s vegan meatloaf and kidney beans from the chilli I made. It was painful but there were periods where it was pleasure. Hardly the time and place for that. My stomach is pretty flat now. I don’t know what to think about any of it right now. Why did that make me want to buy butt plugs?

I am starting to feel overwhelmed by my studying. I have my second test tomorrow. I wrote down a list of what I need to study and it didn’t feel so overwhelming after that. Remembering all of the different kinds of compounds is going to trip me up. Then using mole to make empirical and molecular formulas. Fuck math. The part of the unit we just started is hard as fuck and I need to practice that as well. We are balancing chemical equations which started off simple but that didn’t live long.

Work today was long and full of terrors. My supervisor gave me something new to do today with minimal instructions and directions. I made it work though. I slacked quite a bit, however. I also brought my chilli to sell for our fundraiser. I made sure it was labelled vegetarian/vegan because there are a lot of vegetarians in my workplace. Most of them are from India so I didn’t use mock meat for the recipe because they can’t mentally do it, I find. I used quinoa. It went fast. People really liked it. I didn’t think it was all that but I do know how to season the heck out of it.

Jerry really gives me big-brother energy. He helped me through my project. He’s such a nice guy. He’s got a really attractive face and I hate him for it. We went to the same high school but are 5 years apart. He has a lot of charisma, we can match each other’s energy. I was very grateful for him today.

I was thinking about making my move to the store side more seriously today. I was imagining myself on the other side. I just do the merchandising. I didn’t want to give up this great gig but it is just a temp. If they do offer it as permanent I will take it but this time next year the plan is to be suffering immensely in university. I’ll have to do shift work. I might even be willing to join the management team there also.

This CDB oil, I really like it. I have a sample size that I got from my friend. I will buy my own on Friday.

My roommate and I are going to a thermal spa next weekend. We are going to spend the whole day there. She really wants to go. I have never been and everybody tells me it is the best thing ever. There are young European men who rub salt on each other. Is what my roommate tells me. I think that is supposed to entice me. On that note, I am blocking my go-to porn sites. Why is this so hard? No pun intended.

I am just procrastinating at this point. I wasted my day. I was supposed to nap and then study all night. Now my energy is free falling. I should just go to bed and let myself wake up crazy early and then just cram more studying in. I just want it to be Saturday already. I am not going anywhere or doing anything. Maybe I will binge shows and movies. I’ll likely go to the gym in the morning, at the very least. I want to release my mind from all expectations. Just do things for myself and think things for myself. I want to have a thought to myself. Frig I better study now.