Hubby seems like hates his life in Age 36
- Oct. 23, 2023, 12:59 p.m.
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Hubby has been complaining of work, home life, kids…What he tells me is legitimate. There are some really crappy conditions at work and I don’t hold anything against him. Its just he’s always grumpy, always unhappy. He texted lately that he needs an escape from the kids, from home, from work. I know that we all need a break, but this isn’t the first time he says stuff like this.
I just wish he were happy with the family he has and the life he’s created for himself. He isn’t. I saw this short on Youtube where the title was married single moms. Where the spouse comes home and shuts off while the mom keeps going. Earlier this year he went to Spain by himself to visit his brother. I wasn’t interested in going. I really wasn’t, and he was saying at that time that he needed a break. He went, came back, and about 6 months later here we are again.
I’ve always told him that if he needed to leave that I would never stop him. I know that he’s going through some deep shit, and I have to try not to take it personally. I just feel like…its just another blow to my self confidence, which is super non existent anyway. All I can is be patient right? Talk it out if he wants to? If there are any men ready this, give me some insight. We’re in our mid 30s if that helps.
analizzato ⋅ October 28, 2023 (edited October 28, 2023)
Edited
My husband has mid-life crisis thoughts/moods too. Like above comments have said, as a man he has issues about not being "enough". Inadequacy. Though, he is totally killing it in my eyes and by most people's standards! Still, men have a lot of pressure on them. What's helped us (because if my husband is wanting a break from me and the family i am going to be hurt by that) is for me to be encouraging as possible. Supportive not only verbally but with deeds. Help him carry his burden, and let him know that we're a team and we're in this together. He needs reminders of this. He feels the provider pressure a lot, and i can't help financially but I can help him in other ways. Let him know you see him, and you're there for him. Let him know you are proud of him and you respect him for his efforts. Knowing their wife respects them can do a lot for men's feeling of inadequacy. Figure out what his love language is and try to love him in that way. My husband's is physical touch so when I know he's low, I try to give him more of that. Some guys' would be acts of service- cooking for them, doing helpful tasks for them, being thoughtful about what they need even when theyre not with you. I don't know, just some things I learned from 15 years of marriage and tons of rough patches, especially about this kind of thing with my man!