Left out. in Since OD is shutting down....

My brother messaged earlier asking for my kid to come hang out but I reminded him that his kid and her cousin are always mean to my daughter. Well, my kid saw that message and asked about it so I asked if she could come but he said they’re dumping them off which means they are going out tonight. I didn’t even bother to respond. I wanted to say something about how it must be nice to have a sitter every weekend and that his daughter ALWAYS has someone to play with.

My daughter told me the other day that she thinks my niece doesn’t like her. I told her that I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like anyone. My daughter knows that she’s treated differently and how the other cousin gets to be at their house every weekend but my kid has always been on the back burner and has rarely ever gotten to hang out there. She’s never even spent the night! I’m seriously so burnt out on how all of this is.

She’s been bugging all day to go get a couple of treats from the gas station so we went and did that. I told her that I’m sorry we don’t have more kids for her to play with and that she’s probably sick of being stuck with Mom every weekend. I really do hope it gets better as she gets older like with birthday parties and such. I just feel awful that she’s always been left out due to someone’s control or selfishness.

Again, this is how it’s always been and how it’s going to continue and that’s why I don’t bother to react with anger anymore.

I didn’t tell her that she’s going to be in the after school program on Tuesday because I want to make sure it’s totally confirmed yet. I didn’t tell her that she’s going with her big sister tomorrow for the same reason. She already feel pretty down about not having enough friends that I just don’t want to say anything that’s going to lead to further sadness.

I really wish all of this was different for her. I seriously didn’t think things would STILL BE LIKE THIS 6 years later! It’s honestly ridiculous and there’s times where I just want to run down the street screaming out of anger. I feel like it’s just too much to ask for people to love my daughter and appreciate her as much as I do. She’s just never been important to anyone but me. That’s why it makes it hard to let anyone in anymore. It just leads to hurt feelings for her.

It’s starting to become bedtime. I’m excited for tomorrow morning and after breakfast, I’m going to tell her to get showered because she’s going to go for awhile.