But is it what I really want? I think things with that guy are over now. Which isn’t a bad thing. Actually, it’s a great thing. But I still feel sad it didn’t work. I still love him. Oh I love him so much and know he is bound for greatness. I hope I am there to see him succeed, if even from a distance.
So what made me stop talking to him was he threatened to call the park I live in and wreak havoc. Tell them about my dogs. He did actually call them. I know, he’s on my phone plan and I can see his calls. But he says he never said anything when he called. I haven’t checked lately to see if he’s done it again.
My question is what does he gain by doing that to me? I would loose everything if I got evicted. Where could I go with 8 dogs? Ok, I may not loose my kids but possibly. Loosing the roof over my head would cause me to go into a depression that I don’t know if I would recover from. All because he wants to be a vindictive ass. He thinks it’s just. Just because he fell in love with me and he lost my love. He lost it being an idiot. Accusing me of cheating when I wont do that.
So yeah. I think he is gone. I’m going to miss him. I miss the happy him. The loving one. Not the one that he has become though. When I think about the happy days with him I think about one picture. It was at his house. His oldest daughter and her siblings were there. He was watching them with the horse, didn’t know I took the picture. But it’s a good one of him. Then I think of the most recent pictures I’ve taken with him… he’s not happy. Maybe with me gone he will find his happiness again.
Getting closer to having my house officially listed. I can’t wait to get that process going. Get it listed. Get an offer in on the house I want. Hopefully I will get it. Hopefully I will get a new start.
All good things come to those who wait.