DH is starting a in Journal

  • Sept. 6, 2023, 4:43 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Business.
I’m beyond ecstatic.
Yesterday he brought up something about it, and we chatted. I won’t go into a lot of detail, but the topic was only tangentially related. He had a lot of risk-averse language. I pointed it out and asked what a healthy balance of risk taking and risk averse behavior might look like. What opportunity loss does the very risk averse suffer from? It was a good conversation. Then he said he was going to start looking for a place to rent to start his business.
I am sort of on a high. Not necessarily from the idea of being an entrepreneurial family (of which I am a proud promoter), and not just the opportunity for true independence, meaning, authenticity, and wealth. BUT more specifically, because the conversation itself- the fact that DH has respect, admiration and trust in my opinions and ability to bring out the best in him and the best for our family. That was why he brought it up. He wanted or needed the encouragement. It’s evidence that I’m doing my job well when he feels supported and encouraged enough to stride out and make his dreams a reality.

You know, it’s a little like mapping the untamed jungles. I was not raised knowing how to be a good wife, or even a mediocre wife. Nor did I have a single example of a good parent. As is mostly the case in abusive homes, there are zero opportunities to find quality or virtues. Zero is a special number, and a coven of vampirs requires that not one slayer find it.
I lamented and pined for a time for an older more mature virtuous woman to guide me. But I’m not really sure that such a creature exists at all. If she did, I would expect her to be preoccupied with her own family’s needs and success.
In a way, the motherless mother is a tragically isolated. She has without exception the nearly bottomless grief that drives her to find her mother, or a sister, a friend, cousin, anyone. It’s terribly lonely raising children my yourself. Sure there is the husband. But if he’s any kind of decent, he’s off working and not tending to female desires. And this may also be another kind of wilderness to explore for the men.


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