Too happy... to write?? in My life

  • Aug. 23, 2023, 9:04 p.m.
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  • Public

Yeah, I think so.

I have so many drafts saved here on PB but I never got around to finishing them. I still got to process a few things while writing those drafts, but I finished processing too soon, i.e. before I finished the drafts :(.

Many PBers I follow write about their happy times too. I guess I’m just not a writer so I only write when there are strong emotions. My upsets, rages, sadness, etc. are strong/extreme, but my happiness is just… sweet and peaceful. Maybe when I’m overjoyed by something, I’ll have the impulse to write again.

I’m too happy… to write these days. I guess my only source of constant unhappiness was law school and then bar exam. But they are done now. I don’t get along that well with my family (the one I came from) but I live far away from them. It’s much better for me to care for them from afar. I’ll send $$$. There’s a saying that moving away won’t make you happier because you won’t escape yourself. But sometimes it does. Sometimes it’s not yourself that makes you unhappy but your environment, truly.

I have only a small window between graduation and children. Ultimate freedom. Lots of people have a much bigger window than me. Lots of people don’t have that window at all.

Routines. I had always been in school so I never knew this: there is so much more routines in adult life:
-Weekdays (every day): wake up next to the love of my life; personal hygiene stuff; get dressed for work; pack a lunch; commute to work; work for 8 hours; commute home; enjoy 1 hour of me time (feeling so guilty– I need to find a way to be more productive during this time OR MAYBE NOT LOLOLOLOL); light exercise for 30 minutes (that’s the most I can do; I’m very soft) (for this entire 1.5 hour husband would be at the gym); shower; eat dinner while watching a movie/show or play a board game together; attend our zoom rosary group for prayers and some small talks; 1 hour bonding time with the husband; 1.5 hour of me-time for both of us, during which he plays video games and I do some catch-up work or make some progress on my EdX precalculus class; and bed at 12 AM or if we can’t resist it, talking/doing whatever until 1 AM.
-Saturday: errands, cleaning, cooking (I’ve just realized this is my #1 destressing activity now), doing something fun like a walk in the park or the boardgame store, occasionally seeing some friends or family, perhaps, catching up with work for me because I’m slow as a turtle and always behind on things.
-Sunday: Church in the morning, then pretty much it’s the same as Saturday, but less joy :( (although spiritually it should be more joyful 0:-) . I’m only human).

I think we have room for a child in our life.

Routines are great. They are a source of comfort. There are so many movies about people getting sick and bored with the routine of their lives; and they either escape it (e.g. Eat Pray Love) or be consumed by it and die (e.g. Revolutionary Road?). But, movies are made by artists and artists are people who don’t enjoy routines. Engineers never make movies. It’s all good, of course. We do need all kinds of minds in this world.


Last updated August 23, 2023


Deleted user August 24, 2023

First, love your post.

Second, professional artists often have routines and rituals. Especially professional writers. They tend to need them.

Third, Dostoyevsky was an engineer.... ;p

sadandlonelygirl Deleted user ⋅ August 26, 2023

First, thank you so much!! I'm not very confident about my writing haha. Although this isn't social media. I shouldn't care about impressing anyone.

Second, oooh thank you for that perspective! Maybe I should change "routine" into... "conformity"? As is, the thing that sets creative minds apart from the rest of the people. I seem to thrive more on conformity but I can see that creative minds don't?

Third, wow that's amazing to know! I guess he is very philosophical in his writings (okay I have only ever read one book, The Brothers Karamazov, but it's in my top 5 favorite books ever) so having a mind apt for abstract thinking was probably good for both (engineering and philosophy). Do you have a favorite work from Dostoyevsky? :)

JustSurviveSomehow August 24, 2023

I feel this! I usually only write when I have strong emotions also. And those are not typically pleasant lol. I cannot wait for the results from the bar exam! So anxious for you!

sadandlonelygirl JustSurviveSomehow ⋅ August 26, 2023

Good things us humans can release some of those strong emotions via writing. That's pretty amazing to think about! and thank you! These days I'm also begrudgingly appreciative of the bar exam. It did teach me quite a few useful things for my job with the court T_T.

A Pedestrian Wandering August 28, 2023

I find comfort in routine, perhaps because of a chaotic childhood. I do really enjoy the happy times and do write about them too. But it's more important to enjoy them while they happen.

sadandlonelygirl A Pedestrian Wandering ⋅ August 30, 2023

I'm glad to hear that you found stability in life. Yes I think you're right. Thank you for the reminder 😊.

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