I'd Like To Sleep In A Freezer in Hello

Not sunburned but have a wicked tan on my back. Been feeling hot all night since my walk.

I’m not angry anymore. After isolating myself in my bedroom and gaming for a few hours, sober no less, I’ve identified what/how I feel.

The way the judge eviscerated me in front of everyone was the most humiliating moment in my life. And that’s AFTER watching my arrest on body cam footage. She made me feel so insignificant, like I was a piece of shit she had to deal with otherwise she wouldn’t have given me the time of day. I’ve never felt so small before.

Oh, I’ve wanted to lock myself away from the world and get high and drink beer/liquor till my brain leaks out of my ear and my liver explodes. I didn’t. I stayed sober. I sat with these uncomfortable feelings of nothingness and processed them as best as I could by listening to video game podcasts while playing one.

My 401 check came in today and I miscalculated. Not $4k like I thought, instead $3,743.14. Still better than nothing. Mom is getting $500, the additional $243.14 is going into my checking and the remaining $3k is going into my savings. I’m tempted to just put $100 in my checking, it’ll leave me a bit over $5k in savings. Sounds nice but I’m still not done with group ($20 a session or $60 a week) and no telling how much court costs are going to be. Here comes the justice dildo, lube is extra $$$, now bend over perp!

I grilled some killer steaks with a rub recipe I found.

1/4 C salt
1/4 C pepper
2 Tbsp garlic powder
1 tsp thyme leaves, minced

As I said, they turned out really good. Veggies were mushroom skewers glazed with olive oil and Spanish salt, green beans for mom, corn niblets for me and broccoli slaw for both of us. I was fat n happy after I ate. Enjoyed a Milky Way for the sugar fix a little while ago.

The PlayStation kept me sane tonight. As I told a friend earlier this was the first time gaming without alcohol in who knows when. I’m very tired but I don’t want to go to sleep just yet. I have no plans tomorrow so I’m going to sleep in and be lazy. After the day I’ve had I deserve to decompress some more. Maybe another walk if it isn’t raining. I’m digging getting sweaty now, reow and hubba hubba. Nothing more sexier than a fat guy who has completely sweated through his wife beater. I’m a perfect candidate for an episode of Cops, just hope I don’t get the same judge! Get it?!? IT’S FUNNY CAUSE IT HURTS HAHAHA!!!

Last updated August 12, 2023