Levitate in Current Events

I’ve fasted for 38 hrs now. I want to see how long I can keep this up today. I am practicing for poverty lol. I feel high. I feel a resonance all through my body. Every nerve is lit up like a firefly. When I close my eyes my mind thinks that I am levitating. I don’t know where this energy is coming from but I am hesitant to burn it out. I will do just that though.

My dream last night was funny. I was on a mission to find vegan mini donuts. I don’t even have a sweet tooth but hunting down mini donuts will be my reality soon enough.

Michelle gave me a pep talk regarding me not creating the content I want. She also asked for me to do a live with her on her IG. I said yes. She thinks that I am full of wisdom and she wants to pick my brain, I guess. I don’t have a platform to send people to for myself but I can do this for her and her channel. She will upload the live to her YouTube. We will likely be discussing spirituality and all I want to do is demystify it.

I went online to look for advice on how to get comfortable talking in front of the camera. I will take that advice. I think going live with Michelle will be easier because it would be more like a Zoom call or Facetime.

I’ve been a good girl since the New Moon and I haven’t watched any pornography. I deleted all accounts, links, and images. Brett Cooper, a conservative pundit, her podcast helped me understand what it is that I am supporting. A moral stance seems to be doing the trick.

I added Justin on FB, my sister Miranda’s boyfriend, partner? I get lost in the nomenclature when people stay in committed relationships outside of marriage. He is family now that they had a baby. Having us in the same room used to create a lot of anxiety for everybody. Mostly for him and me because of where I stood with his addiction. His narcissist abuse stopped working on me and he couldn’t outdo the doer. We both have a Scorpio Mars. He is in recovery now and doing very well. He works at a clinic and helps others heal from their addiction. He messaged me asking if I had seen Zeitgeist. It is hard to find somebody to talk to regarding the rabbit hole. He really wanted me to come visit them this weekend when my mother goes but I had to let him down. I can drive up there another day.

My mother invited my sister Melissa and me to go with her to Brandon to visit the new baby. I offered to stay behind and watch Melissa’s kids and their dog. The dog is the main problem. I figured I would let the mothers all have a day together. Miranda and Justin are very close to my uncle so I can invite him when I drive out there. We’ll stay the night.

I also offered to take my grandmother shopping for my mother. We take turns and I know this weekend she is pretty busy. I am not busy at all.

I logged on to Telegram and it said that my friend Ryan joined Telegram. I guess somebody has his old number. I never deleted it after he passed away. His alcoholism was the literal death of him. It made me think of our mutual friend Colleen, whom I met him through. I found her on FB and reached out to her. We talked about him and then I got all astrological. I am meeting up with her on Thursday to go over her birth chart.

I have all this energy and I don’t know where to focus it right now. I’ll stream some yoga and then work out a bit. I’ll try and see if I can music to stir up my insides. Why am I so dead inside? I’ll be talking to myself the whole time, narrating what I am doing as per the advice I am taking to get comfortable talking to myself. That skillset I will transfer to a camera. The skillset being confidence.

Last updated July 19, 2023