Sail in Current Events

I spent the last few hours fully immersed in my problems. It’s sink or swim time.

You’re a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do.

I have been picking up scraps at work, shifts. I just had my first paycheck without any added shifts. I have extra hours that I picked up next week but living this way is not sustainable. It’s the lack of structure that is menacing for me. I am barely making my budget work. I’m actually about to start sinking. I can’t hide from that fact anymore. I have credit & savings to help keep me afloat but that is not going to last forever. I have until July before that happens so it isn’t mission impossible.

I applied at a few more places. Jobs that I have experience with. I have a few lined up that I will apply to this weekend. I need to write cover letters for them. These ones I do not have experience in. Just transferable skills.

I have a quick fix that I could take. I might just do it. It’s for the company I already work for but at the location near my place. This time it is not for the same role. It is the location with the worst reputation. Everybody hates working there. With the role I have now, I am pretty sheltered from the storefront. I just do the merchandising. I service the products, not the people. The store isn’t allowed to touch my team because we are paid by vendors. I liked that but I will have to learn to live without it.

I have to be real that I don’t have the willpower to start learning how to do my hustles online. I can make that a side project. I am aiming to start that this weekend. Maybe even this evening.

I am also going to start getting ahead in my studying. I start my chemistry class in September. I need to work on my math skills. I have to start from scratch. I’ve been using a calculator for the last 20 years, I can barely do addition and multiplication in my head. I am aiming to use Khan Academy to make my way up from k-12. Algebra, calculus, and trigonometry, and then I will try that physics class again. I need a Bachelor of Science, I doubt that I will get to avoid physics. I’ve never been math intuitive, it was too math-heavy for me.

I’m going to do something stupid tonight. I am still seeing synchronicities and I received a ballot in the mail from the casino for a chance to win cash and/or a vehicle. I’m going to play $40 while I’m there. I will leave empty-handed because I am astrologically hexed. At least it is something to do.

I suspect that I might be coming down with something. I keep thinking to myself that I want to come down with the flu. I don’t know what it is but whenever that happens it is like a reboot for my psyche. I can rewire my brain far more easily, with metacognition. This could just be allergies. My roommate bought an oil infuser, that bitch. It’s harmless in principle but it is synthetically fragranced. I purged this place of that. It’s not a big deal, at least she is trying to make this place feel more like home for herself. It’s just in her bathroom, I only need to close the door.