june 8 in idea barrages

Maybe all spiders can write words into their webs like Charlotte but most of them are into death metal and they’re just doing those logos for death metal bands no one can actually read.

Nothing ever “starred” Randy Quaid. You could have a movie where Randy Quaid was the protagonist, you could have a movie where Randy Quaid had the most lines or screen-time, but no movie ever STARRED Randy Quaid.

You know what’d be a really weird movie? “Tinker-James-Taylor-Soldier-Spy”. It would turn out that James Taylor had always been a deep cover MI5 operative all along and he had to blow his cover to, like, save the royal family or something.

I think by “emotional feudalism” I meant the way society wants us to view each other as commodities, that there is no real love or emotional connection, just the most conventionally attractive or richest person we can “attain” now, always looking to “trade up”, telling us that anything less is “settling”. The same way that pure libertarianism would logically devolve into a new feudalism in one generation’s time, so too is our culture’s view on love: take all you can, if anyone else has anything, it should be yours too. Castles for the lucky and the cruel, death in the fields for everyone else. Except, y’know, for love.

I like to believe that the different forms of Ronald MacDonald were, like, a regeneration thing, like Dr. Who. Like Cap’n Crook murders him for a filet-o-fish and he comes back to life with a slightly different face under the greasepaint.

Since I can’t understand half the lyrics to Busta Rhymes’ “Gimmie Some More” anyway, I’m just going to go with the idea that he’s actually just asking for some s’mores. Dude just likes a campfire treat!

I just realized that in a modernization of Slaughterhouse Five, Montana Wildhack wouldn’t be in porn films, she’d be a Twitch streamer and I don’t know how to feel about that.

Convince someone that you thought “pole dancing” meant dancing to polkas.