worst night's sleep ever in just testing

I may never had a baby waking me up at all hours but these cats were all over me and Will. jumping on us, scratching thing, making noise and I'm so fucking pissed off at the world right now cause I gotta go to work for an Open house. It's only 10 to 12 but fuck - why today.

I found my keys - in an old pair of pants, so that was cool.

Work sucked - first off, I saw someone do something that could lead to an immediate firing. Plus the fact that the director and assistant director talked to her twice this week about her performance so this is pretty much the 3rd straw - even though they say, even if she had not previous write ups she could be let go for this alone.

At first I was feeling really bad. What she did was a mistake - buuuut when you're taking care of kids there really is no room for mistakes. She's a nice person that recently just hasn't been caring about this job. Not sure why, she has a kid so she should be interested in keeping her job.

What bothered me the most is that I was the one that saw and told the last straw that could get her fired which makes it feel like MY fault when really it isn't cause she shouldn't have done what she did to BE fired - maybe fired.

I dunno if they fired her.

But after talking with the director - the way they see it is - what is that mistake happened in YOUR child's classroom or if my sister put her baby here [she can't she lives an hour away] and that happened in YOUR nieces classroom.

In that case it's totally different. If my niece was put at risk in the way this teacher did then I'd want her gone.

They didn't fire her while I was there so I dunno if it was done.

ALSO - this same day....

such drama...

OK so there is one job in my school that no one likes to do but it has to be done cause many classrooms need it.

My director and assistant director put the responsibility on 2 girls and they were doing it for a few months but now they're pissed off about it because a bunch of classrooms need this so why doesn't every classroom do it as needed, instead of them all the time.

A kind of valid question but for me the point is, your boss told you to do it. You do it.

SO yesterday, kind of in protest, the 2 girls didn't do it.

The other classrooms saw it wasn't done and were asking for it.

The director got them to do it, but it got done late, which throws off everyone's schedule. One of the staff came up to me, pissed off, cause it was done late and is going to throw their schedule off - they didn't want to wait.

Yes she came to ME with attitude when I have nothing to do with it. But I don't take it to heart cause it's not my fault or my decision. She wasn't mad at ME. She was mad at the situation. She really should have been made at the 2 girls that were supposed to do it and purposely didn't but due to loyalty with her staff friends she's made at management for making those 2 girls do it alllllll the time.

SOOOOOO I went back to management and told them so-and-so is pissed off and doesn't want to wait. Management gave me another option for her.

I went back and told her the other option and she didn't like that either. At that point she simply walked away from me cause she didn't like the option. So I didn't really know what she was going to do. Wait for the girls to finish or do the other option.

So I went back to the office and told them that I dunno what is going to happen cause they are still obviously pissed off by the situation and didn't tell me what they chose to do.

My boss then gets up to go to them. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

What I didn't know is that he was going to go out and chew out one specific teacher for giving me attitude over the situation. Maybe he was just trying to stand up for me but that cause drama cause then that person came back to me to ask me why I had the boss come out and chew her out over her bad attitude towards me.

She was also like "everyone thinks YOU came out and told him I gave you attitude and made him come over and talk to me"

Everyone? Who's everyone?

So now I know they've been gossiping about me which is HORRIBLE.

I work with like 30 other women. Can you imagine walking down the halls having to deal with these women knowing they're ALL talking about you in a negative way??

It's like a bad highschool movie or something.

SO I told her that SHE DID give me attitude - and in other situations other staff memebers do it too! I'm usually just a messenger and I DO get attitudes from people sometimes. BUT I don't take it to heart because I know it's not MY FAULT. Nothing is my decision. I relay the directors decisions and if people don't like it, it's really not my fauly but I get attitude from it.

BUT I NEVER told my boss to go and chew her out because of the attitude she gave. And truthfully everyone involved - which was like 6 staff members - were rolling their eyes about the situation but I never named any names.

SHE was the most vocal about it so that's probably why the boss went over to her and chewed her out. He's the only one she knew that was really involved [besides the 2 girls that weren't doing what they were supposed to] which is why he came down on her.

In the end I think all is forgiven between me and everyone but GOD what useless DRAMA..

And that drama made my stomach turn all day to the point where I didn't eat lunch. I 've been TRYING to do better with the eating this week and exercising but I just keep making the easier, lazier decisions and not doing much. I dunno what, if anything, would motivate me.

Some people suggested thyroid issues or blood pressure issues. My blood pressure is always good at doctors offices. I've have my thyroid checked out years ago and everything was fine. But that had to be.... at least 7 years ago. Something could have changed I guess. My blood pressure was tested around the time of my wedding a year ago and it was fine.

I simply think the fat weighing me down, making me tired, is what's it but it's hard to lose weight when your weight makes you too tired to lose weight.

Me buying the treadmill was a fucking mistake.

ANYWAY

This shaped up a little in the afternoon cause I went grocery shopping and bumped into my parents who them paid for my groceries - which was nice. I prob only bought $65 worth.

BUT NOW that means I can buy even MORE groceries cause they already paid for some.

They dunno how broke I am some days - or how EMPTY my cupboards and fridge were by the end of this week. But I'm not even going to say I don't get enough to eat - I'm so fat I'm killing myself. My hearts prob gonna pop any minute.

ANYWAY then I get on the phone with Will and he's all pissed cause they're taking away his weekday overtime.

He usually works 10 hours a day and 10 hours on most Sundays. And I had JUST gotten used to the idea.

Now, to save money, everyone is going to work 8.5 hours during the week and still most sundays. That takes $180 off his paycheck. And even more if they cut down on his Sundays.

He told the manager that the overtime pay was really helping out his bills and if they take it away he's probably going to start looking for another job. The manager told him to wait 2 weeks - nothing is final yet. But you know how businesses are - they always take from the employees first to save money before they take away from any other area - so Will pretty much thinks his overtime is gone and he was freaking out.

So he's talking to friends about it and some shady friend of his said that his dad has a fleet that works with shoprite. They would pay him $600 a week to do the job for shoprite and then $500 under the table. There's no healthcare and no logs to fill out and we don't even know the hours yet but already Will's ready to jump ship and work with this guy.

SIGH

I told Will I was worried that these people weren't a law abiding business and if they go down, so will he, cause we know from the door that these guys are doing something fishy.

But like most people, he never believes something like that could happen to HIM.

And we all know I have no say in what Will does for work or money. I could never stop him from doing what he wants to do.

And of course the cruise is now canceled. I mean I know he's changing jobs and I don't exactly know how much he'll be able to put away or their vacation time policy. But every time something he does means we can't have a cruise I feel like I'm being punished.

Guess I'm not getting birthcontrol either. If he's gonna lose his health and we're gonna go on Obamacare, I have no idea how much a depo shot would cost - prob more than with regular healthcare but I haven't even done the math yet cause my fucking doctor who does pap smears is not an official gyno and won't give me the shot.

If I'm not gonna have a baby out of this whole mess but I still have to deal with PERIOD CRAMPS every month, can I at least get a vacation? That's why childless people do! They go shopping and get their hair/nails/facials did, they go on vacations and have modern chic sharp not for children homes!

I'm certainly getting the short end of the stick here.

Oh well, on no sleep and a hurting tummy [cause I binged when I got home from not eating lunch] I'm off to WORK on a SATURDAY.