Today has just been an absolutely horrible day, one of the worst since my lifestyle change.
Yesterday, I did an hour of cardio and burned like 1,300 calories just from exercise and had only meal and just had a really good fit day. But then, Ali and I stayed up all night and by the time 10:30am rolled around we decided to stay up all day in order to fix our sleep schedules since he wasn't that tired. And of course, I'm exhausted because yesterday was the longest workout/lowest calorie day I've had since I started. I was in like a 2,200 calorie deficit by the time it was all over and my body really needed the sleep and it was definitely catching up to me today.
I stopped my period today and I've literally went to the restroom about 4 times in one hour and expelled a large amount of water each time. I've only had about 2 cups of water in a 6 hour period before this just due to not feeling like taking anything into my body. I don't have the energy to exercise so I'm just trying to take in as few calories as possible without starving myself to make up for not exercising due to no energy. I don't want to injure myself by pushing to hard when my body is getting used to this whole process.
On top of that Alistair had a really wonderful opportunity come his way today. He's apparently put some feelers out for jobs since I'm going back to school in a little less than a month from now. His sister found him a perspective job as a Pediatric Nurse, it doesn't have any previous qualification requirements because there is a year long paid training for the spot. Alistair is really good at cooking, it's what he has training for, but he has no real passion for it outside of his home. He would be so much happier as a Nurse or a Nutritionist but as a 29 year old guy going back to school for a new career sets his life back quite a bit. I tell him that it's worth it, to do something for the rest of his life that he really loves and that he can be anything that he wants to be in life.
The trouble is, if he were to take this job or go back to school for two years that would push us back living together for another year for a total of three years in separate countries. That is SUCH a long time. The thought of two years away from each other was hard enough but at least I had something to do for those two years, I could completely finish my Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts: Biology and Science so I would have minimal qualifications and make a part time job easier to find. But a third year would put me in a very weird limbo area of nothing being able to continue my education for a year due to it being a complete waste of money because the credits likely would not transfer over, although, they might and it could be an option to get some more advanced Veterinarian Biology specific courses on my transcript to make getting into a good English college that much easier. But if it wouldn't matter or the money was too much, I was thinking I could use the $10,500 College fund account I have to pay for the first few months of an apartment after I acquire a job at a local vets office or a clinic and work there for a year while Ali does his first year of work and is in a good place for me to come over.
Both options will still further my plans of being a Veterinarian if something happens between Ali and I. I won't be left out in the cold having wasted 1-3 years not furthering myself. I want him to be happy and secure with us. I don't want him, 5 years from now, wanting out of our relationship because he feels that he couldn't pursue his dreams because of me. Three years is a long long time to wait for someone, I would happily do it because I honestly can say that Alistair is a guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with and if I have to wait until I'm 23 to move in with him and start a life then I will do it. If we were meant to be together then we will be together.
UPDATE: So, as I finished writing this Ali came home from the doctors and said that he came to a realization while he was coming back from the doctors. He applied to be a fitness instructor at his local gym. Honestly, it is really the perfect job for him because he really cares about fitness and he knows a lot about it. He can make 25,000 - 30,000 pounds a year with no schooling and it would be something that he would really love to do. It could even mean that I could go live with him by this summer. However, I don't think we will just because the plan we have now, even if extended by a year, works much better for me in terms of proper schooling, us having time together before I move in completely and so on. I think that year of bonding with me coming over a few times that year without it being permanent will be important to the overall health of our relationship.
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