sweet and honest in 2014

4:10pm

Today has been a lazy day. I needed one of these to just lie around and recuperate. I'm still not 100% back to normal after the cold so a day of relaxation should help. It's nice not to have responsibilities for a whole day. Not even worrying about work or anything. I've noticed that I'm at that point in the season where I'm tired and want it to end. Funny how that works; you want it to start and then you want it to end already. It's going to get crazy again before it's over though and I'm not sure how to build up the energy stores. I might have to start going to bed earlier, or something.

So I've been in bed for most of the day. Recharging. I was awake by nine but didn't make a move to get up for another hour and a half. Then after breakfast I did the trashy television thing for a bit. Followed by finally getting dressed and heading outside. I sat in the sun for a while, probably not even an hour, and ended up with a little extra color on my arms. That's always nice. I have grand plans of really taking advantage of this summer. Like reaching a place where I'm happy in my own skin. I mean I'm happy now. This last year has totally changed my outlook. Now I just need the skin to match [ie: the self-esteem].

Yesterday was our babysitting day. You know you're in for a full recap so here it goes:

The day went by very quickly. We had a few clients and then I changed into non-work pants before Melissa got there a bit before 3:30pm. I gave her the jar of jelly beans I'd put together and she was SO excited! She's been having a rough couple days so I'm glad she liked it. =)

We drove back to her place and that's probably the first time I've been "alone" around her. She said she was happy I was coming early because she needed help with her outfit. haha. I told her I probably wasn't the best person to ask for advice, but considering she lives in a house full of boys I guess I'm not the worst either. She said they always tell her she's beautiful no matter what she wears and it's funny because that's totally the first thing Jeremy said to her after she got dressed. hah! We looked at each other and burst into laughter.

They're trying to figure out this whole move thing so we talked a bit about that. We even discussed my initial hesitation to be back in this town and it turns out she's the exact same way. Like she had all the same feelings. Not wanting to relive the high school days every time you see anyone and all that. It was nice to realize I'm not the only one who feels this way. Plus it was like a little bonding moment with her and that was cool too.

As soon as I got there the boys sat me down to watch Frozen with them. Melissa and Jeremy left like an hour later after they finished getting ready and gave me instructions for dinner and bed times. After the movie was over the boys and I started playing around. Some how I ended up being tackled and dog piled to the ground! Let me just say having three boys under the age of 6 jump on top of you is not the easiest thing to recover from. haha. I ended up giving B a piggyback ride and of course P had to have one too. They're exceptionally light, which surprised me because I'm not the strongest person in the world.

We wrestled around a little more and when I noticed they started getting a bit too rough with each other I went and started dinner and brought out the balloons. Boy was that a blast. Balloons are the best distraction ever. So glad I brought them with me!! We tossed, and ran around, and played forever with them.

Mom finally showed up sometime before 6:30. That lady must have been trying to get out of helping! I'd tried to call her but they don't have cell reception out there so I had to keep an eye out for her car to pull up. Not that I couldn't have handled it on my own all night, it was just nice to have another adult. And they love her, so there's that.

Dinner was frozen pizza and then we went back to playing with the balloons. Man I don't think I've ever blown up that many balloons in one night. haha. At some point I decided to change my shirt and put my phone in the car. As I was out there rummaging in the trunk I heard footsteps behind me and looked up to see CK walking by. [I wasn't sure he'd be around. We'd passed him on the road on the way in and waved] He said something like "how's it going" which caught me off guard and I stumbled through hello. But he disappeared behind the shop and I hadn't bothered to continue the conversation.

The dog tried to bite me as I went back inside. Sneaky dog too! It was acting just fine, walking in front of me and out of the way and then it came around my side and totally nipped at the back of my leg! I felt teeth but nothing serious. It had done the same thing to my mom when she got there, but I didn't believe her because she'd been fine when I walked to the house earlier that day. Later that night when we were leaving, Jeremy walked us out [and tried to scare me by suddenly reaching out for me and screaming "watch out!" I may have jumped a little and he laughed and grabbed my arm and tried to apologize. I told him to go away and leave me alone. haha] Turns out there was a stick inside the driver's door and that's probably why the stupid dog was biting us! Trying to get our attention so she could have her darn stick back! geez!

So anyways, I went inside and changed. As I was coming out of the bathroom I saw CK pop his head in the door and ask if he could come in. Once he was inside it became one of those awkward, ok now you're here what do we do type situations. hah. There was some random exchange of words while the boys decided they wanted to watch Frozen again and eat popcorn [boy can they eat!]. CK was acting funky. Like something was wrong. He said he'd been having an off day, that he'd been trying to remember something and it was bothering him. Turns out it was Jeremy's birthday and no one had told us! He'd found it on the calendar. I guess the balloons were a really good plan. ha. We actually confronted them about it later when they got home. He's apparently weird about birthdays. Won't let Melissa throw him a party or celebrate. She even had to return a gift she'd gotten him because he didn't want anything.

CK ended up sitting on the couch and watching the whole movie with us. He said he hates musicals after like the second song so I'm surprised he made it through the whole thing! The boys sat around for most of it and played/popped balloons during the other parts. Even the baby joined in when he realized he could lay on top and pop them. Then he'd act all surprised that it exploded underneath his weight. haha. He's so cute.

P ended up getting in trouble by mom for tossing balloons behind the tv and then he sulked. She "hurt his feelings" apparently. And I guess I did too later when I was telling him something about getting ready for bed. I leaned next to him at the table and said that I wasn't trying to but he needed to listen. Jeremy said that kids' feelings could fill an entire room. haha. They're all super sweet though. Earlier when I'd first gotten there and was watching the movie P came over to sit with me real close. He hugged me and told me he loved me. Awwww. B said I was pretty after he told his mom [I think he didn't want me to feel left out] and told my mom she was really pretty too and that he loved her later that night. He used to be really aggressive and stubborn but he seems to be growing out of that phase. Even the baby started giving CK high fives and stuff and B sat with him on the couch. When he was leaving, the boys stopped him at the door and gave him hugs. B even ran back after to give him a kiss on the arm. I can't get enough of their sweetness.

Like if I ever get lucky enough to have kids I would like to figure out how to raise them like that. Respectful and kind. Trying to include everyone. Gee I'd probably have the best self-esteem if I hung out with them all the time. haha. And I love that they're not glued to phones the way kids are these days. Whatever Melissa and Jeremy are doing, they're doing it right!

They came back home around 11 and they had a really fun night. I guess there ended up being dancing and Melissa had too much wine. hehe. She seemed totally happy and squeezed me really tight when she hugged me. They totally seem to appreciate having us being able to watch the boys and I am so happy to do it for them. I'd do it more often if they wanted me too!

And because I have an obligation to talk about CK I've gotta say that seeing him "sad" like that made me want to sit and talk to him even more. Like I wanted to pull him aside and know all his troubles. hah. And it was nice that he was there and that he came to hang out. We didn't get to talk much at all, but that's ok. I stared at his face when he wasn't looking ;-)

I think Mom tried to pair us off. Right after he'd gotten there she said something about how if I wanted to take pictures I'd better go because it was getting dark. I said, "pictures of what?!" And she said the horses. haha. I have no idea where she got that from. I had not said anything about wanting to take pictures of them. I told her I didn't have my camera and she said I could borrow hers from the car [B said I could borrow his mom's haha. That's nice of him to offer]. I laughed the whole thing off, and got distracted by the boys, but it totally seemed like her next statement was going to be something about how CK should go with me. I could feel it. I know her too well.

Maybe I should have gone. We seem to forever be stuck as almost-friends. Someone else is always around and we can't talk. It's like we're trapped behind this wall. And I decided on the way home last night that we might not ever get through it. I can't say that I'm all that willing to push it any further and either he's unwilling or doesn't know how to break down his end.

It was funny that during the movie he said something like, "get the phone number" when the girl was walking away from the guy and all I could think was how he should take his own advice. haha. Whatever happens, happens I guess. He might be moving in a few months and there's that whole thing that I'd rather not consider.

So all in all it was another fun night. I love being around kids that are honest, and sweet, and a total blast! The rest of the night was just a bonus.

rose.
5:10pm

Last updated July 22, 2014