Feeling sad. in Since OD is shutting down....

So my daughter is to hang out with her big sister tomorrow and I can tell she wants to be excited but she’s so used to things not working out that she holds back a lot. I really feel angry and sad because this hurts my Mom heart so much. My daughter is truly the greatest kid I’ve ever known and it really pisses me off that she’s never been at the top of anyone’s priority list and I can tell she’s starting to notice.

I talked to my Mom earlier and mentioned that my kid is going to hang out with the big sister tomorrow and she didn’t care. I will never understand as a Grandmother how you could be okay with this. I think she’s happy to be completely off the hook. My Mom hasn’t ever been great at caring for others and yeah we can blame depression or whatever but my daughter isn’t old enough to understand adult things.

I’m just enraged that this is how my kid is growing up. Never a fucking priority for anyone. I text my brother to see if shitbag has even asked about her and pointed out he hasn’t seen her again in 6 months to which I got no response. I just think all of this is a fucking sick joke that hurting me is more important than seeing his child. I really hope this guy feels great about himself. I’m also furious that he’s just this same nasty, hateful person after this many years. It’s never going to change but it really affects my daughter and myself that he’s not around. She doesn’t mention him very often but I know it bothers her to not have a Dad.

I expressed to my Mom that it really upsets me that no one can show up for her. She had nothing to say. My daughter and I have been dealt a really shitty hand and it sucks to know there’s nothing I can do to change it.