We’re supposed to hang out tomorrow so I can help her with her math GED. I’m excited and nervous, as it’s our first socialization outside of work.
Excited, because duh, I get to spend time with her.
But nervous because of that ubiquitous fear she’ll flake. She’s not much of a texter, and we haven’t hung out yet. Nervous, because it’s an opportunity to clear the air regarding my case of the feels. Might come up. Might not.
What did I decide last September when I met her? It was either pretend I didn’t like her, and risk being a dick. Or just hide in plain sight. Be myself. To trust my character - that she won’t code me as a creep. And if she ends up thinking I’m a terrible person, then she isn’t the person I thought she was. So far, I’d say my judgement call was pretty spot-on.
I remind myself that it was her idea to hang out. I was on break, and she came to me to ask if I’d help her.
When I came in today, she sprung a hug on me and told me what a great morning she had, all proud of herself. Little things like that, well. Actions speak louder than words. I feel so sorry for my online friends who have had to give me textual affirmations, when one simple goddamned moment is all the validation I need.
As I said, terrible texter - so I reminded her, and she send me her address right then.
I wonder if on a long enough timeline I’ll drop the nickname workcrush. At least, I think it’s cute. I mean, imagine it’s ten years down and we stopped working together years ago. What do I call her?
I mean, there’s a difference between someone you work with, and someone you met at work?
Eh, whatever. WISH ME LUCK HANDLING ALL THESE BUTTERFLIES.