Disconnected from Self in Internet Intentions

Title says everything. I don’t know how to write, I don’t know how to be with my thoughts. Last night I did a meditation that Shea send me to trigger my anxiety and learn the sensation in my body when I get anxiety but I could not bring up a memory that gave me anxiety. I find it very hard to understand what I’m feeling, know what I care about, what makes me happy, sad, angry, what drives me.

I’m going to talk to her today and that’s exciting, I’m motivated for work today and that’s awesome. I’m going to get done what I need to get done today and have fun tonight. Maybe I need to connect with God better. I want to reconnect with Eric. I know spending time away from internet surfing and less tv consumption will help me understand myself better. I’ll be patient with this it’s a slow process and I know I’m on the right track. It’s okay to get angry, it’s okay to be sad and happy even if I come off annoying. I value authenticity more than anything. So that is why I should embrace my happiness that can occasionally be annoying to people. I love Nicole’s excitement even though it can annoy people. Many people I admire have qualities that annoy people ex: Dr. Will, Malcolm, Ryan Gosling, Ricky Gervais, Sutter Kealy, Nick Wilde, my great friends. Authenticity>>>>>>>likeability.