Here I am in These titles mean nothing.
- Feb. 10, 2023, 1:51 a.m.
- |
- Public
It’s almost 2 am. Gracie got me up. I hadn’t been in bed long. I’d stayed up.. doing what? Last night I played a bunch of old country music videos on the computer with the understanding that I was still using up last month’s band width. Was I? Who the fuck knows. When I done with them I listened to the middle of an audio version of LeCarre’s The Spy Who Came in From the Cold. That was his breakthrough hit book, the one that made enough money that he could give up the real life spy business. It was later made into a movie with Richard Burton and Claire Bloom. The movie’s not available for free, but I watched a couple clips of it on youtube.
I recently got Bloom’s book, Leaving a Doll’s House on interlibrary loan. The book was mainly famous for what she said about her relationship/marriage to Philip Roth. It was a minor Spare in which she outlined the misery she endured at the hands etc. of the great American novelist. He considered it bad manners, and I suppose it was.
Part of the fascination of her life is that she had a long affair with Richard Burton in her youth. She was one of the lovers prior to Elizabeth Taylor that he wouldn’t leave his wife for. She’s not very kind to him either. Or to Liz. In between Burton and Roth she married actor Rod Steiger, with whom she had her only child, a daughter who has some fame as an .... gotcha!.... opera singer.
I marvel at the idea that of those three men - Yul Brynner was a bed post notch as well - she had a child with Steiger. Oh well, such is life. It rarely turns out the way we want it to. Especially at approximately 2 am on a sleepless night.
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I wish I wrote here more. I admire those people who write every day. I used to. I did it when I was busier. I suppose I had more to write about when there was more going on in my life. But I’m not sure that’s an excuse. I always write … something… somewhere… to some purpose… to ???? what purpose?… I have no idea.
I am old. After 75, it’s pretty much impossible to pretend you’re young. In certain ways I MIGHT be young, but I really doubt it. I used to think 78 was the ideal age at which to die. Old enough but not too old. I suppose it still is. It’s just that it’s getting so close. Somewhere between 18 and 30 months… is my math right? God there’s something else to worry about. I suppose the odds are I will live longer than that. Do I want to? Well not
really.
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Hey, I have an idea for a novel.
Take me and my son. Who will take care of me when I’m too old. Who will take care of him? Why don’t we import a refugee woman?
Maybe that’s more of a movie.
Help me cast it.
Lady of the Bann ⋅ February 10, 2023
I can still pretend to be young then. (71)
woman in the moon Lady of the Bann ⋅ February 11, 2023
Sure. You have at least four years left. Time might be different in your corner of the world, and you may as well figure it's on your side.
Just Annie ⋅ February 10, 2023
I recently finished listening to A Private Spy: The Letters of John le Carré. Very interesting. It covers the time he was a school boy all the way up to his later years.
In my head, I don't think I've aged past 26. I don't feel any older than that in my brain. Maybe my heart is older, it's certainly wise. My body? Ah, some days it's younger, some days it's older. Depends a lot on the weather. And amount of sunshine.
woman in the moon Just Annie ⋅ February 11, 2023
The classic good days/bad days.
Lecarre was a fascinating man, with a fascinating life... nice we shared the world with him as much as we did.
Rivercity ⋅ February 10, 2023
I love the Karla novels. I think you should write a musical about the refugee woman.
woman in the moon Rivercity ⋅ February 11, 2023
Ah, Flower Hoe Song.
Ah, Midwest Pacific.
And a third one?
Do You Like Rice?
Oh but a woman from Syria.... maybe with one or two children. Make the school bus stop again.
Or Ukraine. I worked with people from Ukraine in the early 2000s. I considered them Russians and boy did they not like that. I've worked with women from the Philippines and they were lovely, KIND people, hard working and smart.
What a life we have?
noko ⋅ February 12, 2023
My sister just turned 75 on Friday. It is a thing. A bit of a ledge I think but I have been hanging out with the most remarkable people lately, older than that, all of them. I saw "The Spy Who Came in From the Cold" two years ago over at a friend's house. It is a sad movie. Good but sad. I loved Claire Bloom in "Brideshead Revisited". I have seen that about 8 times. :)
woman in the moon noko ⋅ February 13, 2023
Really? About watching BR 8 times. I loved it once on public tv. You should look for her book. She said being Catholic in England was like being Jewish in England. What a world. What lives we and others live.
On 75, I think the 25 year blocks of life are significant. I wish your sister and you a lot of good years ahead. Me too for that matter.
Serin ⋅ February 19, 2023
Writing used to be a lot more effortless. Or I had more attention span. I'm not sure which is the actual issue.